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Resolution, Schmed-jo-lution

Ep 78

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 5:32 — 4.3MB)

How many of you have made it this far? You know, with your New Year Resolutions. Are you still holding down the fort, even though the enemy is circling? Why are resolutions so hard? I know, resolutions are usually things, that I know that I should be doing, but aren’t.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is ep78 Resolution, Schmed-jo-lution.

Did you make one this year? A resolution? I can imagine you did. Whether you realized it or not, you probably made a resolution of some kind.

Why? 2020 was a rough year, in some way or another, it was for everyone. Some of you will, including me, try to give the Miss America Pageant answer and say that there was some good in it. Well of course there was. But as a whole, we wanted to see it gone. The statements may be different, (our resolutions) but none of us want to repeat 2020.

So we make our determining statements and try to choke it down with hope that it sticks. Oh sure, there will be a couple of waves where we muster up some determination, some more willpower to move forward.

By the way, let me say this, all resolutions aren’t bad. There have been some amazing things accomplished through a New Year resolution. But I want to point out something today that some of you may not realize.

In the work that I do, by definition, we’ve just described what we call an Inner Vow.

Let me explain what this is and how it happens.

An Inner Vow begins with a Judgement. A judgement is a generalized negative decision that we’ve made, with a negative expectancy against something or someone.

Here’s an example,

There was a girl you liked in 4th grade and her name was Missy, she was mean to you on the playground and now you no longer like anyone named Missy. That’s a judgment. (No, there was no one named Missy. That name was just used as an example. For all of you Missy’s out there, I don’t have anything against you. This is just an example.)

It may or may not be about that specific person, it can be a generalization. Another way to describe this is to have a negative stereotype. That is a judgement against a certain type of people and the expectation of what’s in their heart. If you want to elevate this even more, racism is another way to describe this.

These all begin with judgements. Now, if that’s not ugly enough, let’s talk about Inner Vows.

Inner Vows are determinations, or promises, or an oath we make internally; they are a response to a Judgement we’ve made. An Inner Vow is swearing to yourself that something you feel and believe, that you are now obligated and determined to carry out.

That sounds a lot like a resolution, doesn’t it?

And don’t get me wrong, not all resolutions are to this extreme.

What I’m pointing out here is to warn you of an unhealthy harmony that happens in the heart.

It’s okay to tell yourself “This year, I’m going to do thus and so…” In our Coaching practice; that’s pretty important to have goals. When we take it too far is when we begin to attach ‘who we are’ to that. Does that make sense? Of course it does, yall are smart.

When the success or failure of these resolutions begin to tell us who we are, then that is not healthy. That is not Living the Freedom Life that we so often talk about.

Whether or not, I am still a child of the King, no matter if I can fit in my flip-flops or not.

We have tools to help with these things and we’ve made our website as easy as we know how, for you to do that.

I just wanted to give you a clearer idea of what the progressions are in making resolutions. I wanted to give you some life today. Because remember… We give away what we have, Let’s make sure we receive life. Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

What Do You Want to Change?

Episode 77

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:06 — 4.5MB)

Look, there hasn’t been much gone untouched by 2020. This year has been a doozy. I’ve seen everything from making sure that everyone eats Black Eyed Peas for the New Year to Opening your Back Door just before midnight to “Let out” everything about 2020 and open your front door to let the newness of 2021 in. There is a lot that needs to change about 2021. But this time of year sparks that kind of thing, now doesn’t it?

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life ep 77 and today we are asking What Do You Want to Change?

It seems that the time is ripe for change. For the love, I’m not getting into politics on this one. I’m talking about the change within you, the change that will actually affect your day to day routines and your life. The change that underneath the surface, you really are longing for, the change that if you are brutally honest with yourself, you’ve been wanting for a very long time.

That’s why this New Year’s season is so important to us. It’s the season of starting over. Everyone has something they want to change.

Me? I want to go to the gym more. Oh, I have a gym membership. I’m not utilizing it the way I should. Oh of course, time management was the first reason I didn’t go, then it became less and less convenient, and here we are.

The problem with me and the gym is this, I was raised on a ranch. Having said that, if your parents owned a Feed Store and you were working there, and you were taking care of livestock, there is not much time or energy left to go to a gym. You see, that’s how I first learned.

How we first learn something, sets the trajectory of how we will see similar situations.

Now, I don’t do those things. When I had a gym regiment, I felt great! I actually had more energy, I was limber, I certainly had more strength. Get this,…my body was more responsive to spiritual disciplines as well. So, it was definitely worth my time. You know, the thing that I thought I didn’t have, . . . my excuse was that I didn’t have time! But that was the thing provided for me.

This is the thing I want to change during this Mulligan season of do overs. Making better use of my time.

The same thing can be true with you. We just have to look for it.

What do you want to change? I mean really change?

Mine came disguised as the gym. The gym is not really what I wanted to change, well, I do want that to change, but it’s not the thing that I really want to change.

I’m reminded of a line in the movie Evan Almighty, God : Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

You see, usually what we are praying for, what we really want to change in our lives, isn’t usually the real thing that we need to be praying about. We typically don’t know what we really need. That is why slowing down and having some true reflection time is so important. In the stillness is where God really enjoys stirring things up.

I think that’s the only place that He can.

So I need to ask you three things….

Do you even know what needs to change in your life? It’s okay if you don’t right now, but we would like to help you find those things. We are able to help clients do just that.
If you do know what needs to change in your life, do you know how to go about beginning that process? This is where a lot of people get stuck. It’s okay if you don’t know. But don’t let that stop you from pursuing it.
How do you know when that change comes? How will you know if that change is real? How will you measure it? We have some things that can assist you in that walk.

We would love to hear from you. Go to our website, send us an email, just reach out. We’ll respond as quickly as we can.

We’re out of time, but remember, we give away what we have; let’s make sure we receive life. Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.

You Got Me What?

Episode 76

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:32 — 5.5MB)

This isn’t going to be your typical Christmas post.

You may have seen videos about today’s topic, you may have experienced this yourself and watched it happen. You may have even thought this yourself.

Picture this, it’s Christmas morning, you can tell without going outside, it’s cold, there are still hot coals in the fireplace, you stoke it a couple of times and it comes back to life again, you begin to feel its warmth, the Tree is lit and coffee is brewing. The time is finally here, to sit around the tree and open presents.

You are about to hear the distinct sound of wrapping paper being torn open. There is so much excitement in the room, the kids can’t keep still. They are squirming and about to explode out of their skin. They tear open paper and boxes like they are trying to save someone’s life that’s stuck inside.. . . and then, their shoulders drop. They look up slowly, …“You got me, What?”…

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life. Ep 76 Our title today, First off, Merry Christmas everyone. Our title today is “You Got Me, What?”

The title says it all. I wouldn’t think any of YOU would actually say it out loud, especially on Christmas Morning, but have you ever just wanted to ask “You got me, What?

Of course you have. . . more recent that you think too.

I know, it seems such an ungrateful thing. But let me explain.

It seems like we are asking God the same thing too, when we look at this past year, 2020.

Remember? The anticipation of perfect vision for our future. Some people had “A Roaring 20’s” party to usher in the new decade, which, last millenia, was a time of great excess and lavishness, only for the pandemic to leave us lean, in some ways, and heavy in others for that matter.

2020 wasn’t what we expected and we were left with asking God “You got me, What?”

This was not what I expected this year to look like. Time is a precious gift, we don’t get it back and this is how we are to spend it?

Watching local businesses get crushed and brushed aside over government mandates and at the same time, watching corporate businesses thrive over the same thing.

The fear of losing a loved one, drives us to wear a mask for so long that we’ve forgotten how much we depend on others’ facial expressions. Then you have people who are upset that we are still wearing them. Upset at those who don’t. Social distancing is a joke, No matter if you are an introvert or extrovert. We’ve even got people who are upset about other people being upset so much!

For this generation, there is more tension in our society than we’ve ever faced. And I’m concerned that we are left like a 6 year old on the floor on Christmas morning, wondering “What have we just unwrapped?” Asking God “You got me, What?”

I got this from a friend, she posted some of her thoughts about perspective. Thank you Jamie for letting me use this.

She says this.

What if this year really isn’t any different?

What if we are all just going through a season, together, at the same time?

How many years did you go through not knowing or even caring if someone else was going through a tough season?

There’s always loss in the world.

There’s always pain in the world.

There’s always disease, cancer, and viruses in the world.

There’s always inconveniences in the world.

Jesus assured us not to fear, because He indeed has overcome the world.

This year isn’t any different. This year, we are all just in it together.

Be blessed and don’t forget to love one another now and always.

We are all in this together and thank you Jamie for providing that perspective on timing.

Did you hear about the planets aligning to show the Christmas star? It’s Jupiter and Saturn. The astronomers at NASA call it “The Great Conjunction” It happens approximately every 20 years. Interesting, about every generation gets to see this for themselves.

Timing is a big thing. Perspective is too.

As we just talked about the Christmas star, that’s about timing and perspective. Asking the question “You got me, What?” is about timing and perspective. Comedy even hinges on, you guessed it, timing and perspective.

So all of us being stuck inside this terrestrial petri dish full of microscopic global influence, maybe this is about timing and perspective. We are all in this together. There is no escaping that.

But perspective, now we have a choice in that, don’t we?

Look, many of us have received dollar store treasures, clearance rack items and even late night bargain TV ad gimmicks, and battery powered whistle pops, whatever it was.

Was it what we expected? No.

Make a choice today, you decide your perspective of the gift. Don’t assume what the intent was from the other person or even God. For that matter.

One thing you can count on, you have the power to choose your perspective. God gives us that.

We may not always see why things are the way they turned out.

But don’t miss the most important fact that distance can’t affect, you are loved.

Merry Christmas everyone. Know that you are loved, more than you know.

And until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

Silver Lining

Episode 75

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:15 — 5.4MB)

Have you ever posted something on social media and wanted to retract it? It reminds me of the expression, “You can’t put toothpaste back into the tube”? Well, this was definitely one of those moments. This was something that was a meme, someone else had already typed it out for me and it had a picture background. In that moment, it satisfied a voice inside, that felt like it needed to be heard. And I re-posted it. Oh, I don’t regret re-posting it, not at all. It blew up with conversation. We’ll talk about it today on Living the Freedom Life. This is ep 75 “There’s a Silver Lining in that Dark Cloud Looming”

You can scour my Social Media pages to see it if you want, it’s okay, but when I re-posted this meme, I didn’t think much about it because what it communicated to me in that moment, I felt it needed to be said again. This podcast episode is not an apology for posting it. . . at all.

Now you really want to know what it was don’t you? Don’t worry, it wasn’t that big of a deal. The lesson I learned behind it, was.

The situation was definitely growing into a dark cloud looming. The comment threads on this post were getting heated, in a couple of different conversations.

A little while afterward, I got a private text from someone. This was that thin line of sunshine that provided back light for the silver lining to appear, and changed the entire situation.

This person was asking questions, so that they could understand what my thoughts were behind this post. They didn’t make the connection with me being the original person who posted it.

No, They didn’t blast me in saying “What were you thinking? That is so offensive.” No, they restrained.

While technically, I wasn’t the original author of the post, it was still posted on my wall. Therefore, by association, I accepted full responsibility by posting it. This person was asking questions in order to understand instead of using interrogation tactics and hurling accusations and threats like we so often see being done in today’s typed culture. Some people just like to argue and stir the pot. Some people like to pick a fight and it shows.

This person knows me well and pointed out some things

The verbiage didn’t sound like me. On the surface, it was a little obvious, if you know me.
What was communicated didn’t sound like me. A lot of times, what is communicated has very little to do with what’s said. So, there’s a big difference between point number 1 and 2.
The heart behind it didn’t sound like me

Once people started commenting on the post, I began to respond to their comments. This person also pointed out that it sounded like a completely different person was responding, than who posted the original post. They said it sounded like two different people, or the profile was hacked.

After more questions and discussion, we ended the conversation feeling more connected and both of us knew we were on the same page. Afterwards, there was one of those moments where you just sit back and meditate…and find yourself grateful God put that person across your path today.

It taught me a few things I want to share with you today.

Our words have meaning
1. It’s easy to lose sight of this truth because it’s so easy today to express ourselves and we fail to see or sometimes care about the consequences.
When we realize how much meaning they have, it takes discernment to say them. In other words, the Bible teaches us to speak truth in love. A lot of times, we let one outweigh the other. If we speak truth, we forget love, on the other hand if we speak so much love, we sometimes forget truth. We are called to have an equal balance of the two.
1. On one side, you delete a long typed out message or come back. Sometimes that’s a good thing, that is what we call “The Lord’s Protection”. But there are other times where we shy away from saying the truth. We need to realize that our words have meaning, and it takes discernment to say them. Just because it’s truth, doesn’t mean We’ve been the ones selected to say it. There are times where we can love someone so much to refrain from speaking truth, that we are unknowingly, enabling them for harm.
What we communicate is sometimes very different from what is said.
1. Just because what was said wasn’t what someone heard, doesn’t mean they weren’t listening. It may mean that we weren’t communicating the same thing as what we were saying. If you’ve ever been called by your middle name, you learned at an early age about tone, body language, facial expressions and everything else that has to do with communication and it really didn’t matter about the words, did it? What we communicate is sometimes very different from what it said.

When something challenges you today, don’t be satisfied with just finding out the surface level of why. Go deeper. Find out what the engine of your why is. What drives your why? We are rarely able to do this ourselves. It usually takes an outside source. That’s another reason why we are made for community. We need other people.

When all we see is the Dark Cloud looming, we need someone else to come in and provide light from a completely different perspective and give us that silver lining. Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.

Other People’s Glasses

Episode 74 Other People’s Glasses

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:21 — 5.0MB)

This story is borrowed from a friend. A little boy climbs up in his Grandpa’s lap and asks, “Can I try on your glasses Grampa?”

“Okay, but be careful, they’re pretty strong.”

He picks up the glasses and puts them on… followed by… “AAAGH!”

The little boy got up from his Grandpa’s lap, announcing to the rest of the room, “You live in a scary world Grandpa.”

We don’t do this often enough. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, and today we’re talking about Trying on Other Peoples Glasses, ep 74.

Have you ever tried to look through someone else’s glasses? That can be a really scary thing. They don’t see things the way you do, or better yet, those glasses aren’t designed to filter the world around you in the way that you see.

To Grandpa, those glasses aren’t scary at all. In fact, they help Grandpa cherish his grandson. Grandpa sees things the way his eyes have adjusted through the years to his experiences.

When you try on someone else’s glasses and they don’t fit the way you see, you can’t deny that they filter the way that they see. Those glasses are made specifically for them. You can’t deny that. The way they see isn’t wrong, it’s just… different.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “yes, you’ve made your point”.

Well, this is a scary world. If we experience something new if we experience something that we don’t know, that’s scary. Even what we do know is sometimes just as scary.

So let me encourage you, keep looking, searching to understand, keep learning and listening, and trying on other peoples glasses. It takes two rare Commodities today, It takes a little time, and it takes a little effort.

When we do that, We conquer our fears by seeing what other people see… Living in their shoes, seeing what they see, eating what they eat, hearing what they hear. In a way, we invade their world, that is, if we want to understand.

I guess you could say that’s what Jesus did… he didn’t have to, but he took some time, and a whole lot of effort, He wrapped himself in human skin, He limited Himself in time and space, lived with human ears, human eyes, and human hands. I guess you could say he crawled up into Humanities lap and tried on the glasses. He came to see firsthand, how scary it is to be human.

He certainly didn’t have to do this, because he’s not bound by time. He has all the time, ever. He’s also not bound by knowledge, because it’s Limitless. He’s the source of all knowledge. I suppose he did all of this for our account. So that we will know that He knows what it is to be human.

And he left us with a profound backstory truth: “If we don’t learn to see what others see… to feel what others feel… we will never understand why we’re here.”

This life lesson is kind of a trial run while we’re here on Earth. Think about it. We have to learn this lesson taking time and putting forth effort to see what others see. Because, our challenge today, just maybe to see how he sees.

It’s quite difficult to forsake the way that we see, and accept the way that He sees.

The way He sees creation, The magnitude and Splendor of his creation is truly amazing, inspiring, and astounding.

The way he sees others. When we hone this skill, forgiveness will come much easier and healing will be quicker and more thorough.

The way He sees us. Yeah, this is a big one. How we see even ourselves. I mean, I know what kind of person I am, and if anyone ever found out, you probably wouldn’t like me very much. So the challenge is to see myself the way God sees me? That’s a pretty tall order. And just for the record, I fail at it often. But for the grace of God, go I.

Thank you Lord for the Incarnation… for taking the time and putting forth the effort, and for the eyeglasses that changed everything. Thank you for letting me try on your glasses.

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

Pre-Winter to Complete Fall

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:55 — 5.1MB)

Let’s see, we have Fall, Pre-Winter, then we have a little bit more Fall, so we can move into Official Winter. Get ready for the weather confusion.

For Thanksgiving we were in Nashville, which is a little colder than what we’re used to in Texas. They actually got snow. Of which, I’m a little jealous.

At home, we have a lot of plants that can’t survive a freeze. So when I woke up one morning and they were all brown, it was actually comforting. The first freeze is crucial for me to feel that “Complete Fall” is here. Because, as many of you know, I love fall.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, and today we’re talking about Complete Fall.

I love Fall. If you’re a regular listener, that’s no secret. But we recently experienced our first freeze of the year, well, here in Texas, and that teaches us some things.

Not very many things can survive a freeze. I know there are perennials, plants that come back each year, But even if we’re talking about those pesky mosquitoes, A good freeze will drive them down into the mud to keep warm. And kill the rest.

I began to think about this, in Biblical times the Children of Israel were instructed many times to completely annihilate everyone and everything when they were going to the Promised Land, leaving no influence of what once was, in order to move into the future.

There were a couple of accounts where they were instructed to kill the cattle, goats even the Bulls of the herds. And what does that mean? Think about it, if you kill the Bull of the herd, that means that there will be no Prospect of the Next Generation. I know, it sounds extreme. But it’s really, to protect us.

Look, if you’ve ever been in a position where you had no control over doing destructive things in your life, then you will understand what I’m about to share with you. In other words, if you ever had any type of addiction, you’ll understand this.

The Hethite, Amorite, Canaanite, Hivite, and Jebusite, Perizzite, all of those “ite” people, well, God instructed for them to all be destroyed, completely wiped out. Why? Because they weren’t God’s people, and they didn’t WANT to be either.

Look just because gravity is there, you don’t have to believe in it. It doesn’t change the fact that gravity is still there and true.

God instructed the children of Israel to completely destroy them because of their influence.

If you’re an alcoholic and alcohol has destroyed your life, why would you go to a bar? Why would you go inside a liquor store? Exactly my point. Because of the influence that atmosphere has.

I’m going to get a little personal with you here. I had a lust for the country music industry. I spent a lot of years in Nashville. To some extent, I had some success. But it didn’t come without a cost. That lust drove me to use drugs every day, and it destroyed a life I once knew. It destroyed opportunities, it destroyed a belief in myself, and it also established some beliefs about myself too.

So, there was a time in my life where I completely annihilated every source of influence that the Country Music Industry had on my life. It was extreme, but it had to be. It was necessary. When I think of that time in my life, there were some good things, there are fond memories and great friends. But a complete Annihilation was necessary for me to survive that season of life, if you want to call it a life.

That is truly bittersweet. But necessary.

I’ve made several recent trips to Nashville, but for completely different reasons. A lot has changed but the atmosphere is still the same. The principles are still at work and now I know how to wield my sword. I know how to draw boundaries. I have experience in annihilation.

So, now you have a little bit more insight on what the first freeze of fall means to me.

I welcome it. Because no fall is complete without the first freeze. You can’t move forward until that happens.

First, let me say, There’s a calling on your life. What that means is, when God created you, he had something in mind. That is a calling on your life. That’s what that means.

So, now I ask you, What is it in your life that is standing in the way of the calling on your life, and what do you need to annihilate?

I have the privilege of helping people do this. At Kyle McMurray coaching, this is what we do. We help people walk through this very season in life. It’s a complete honor because I’m, thankfully, shown the victory before it happens.

If you’re wanting to see victory in your life, reach out to us. Pretty soon you’ll be living the freedom life. If you’re walking through something like this, we would love to help.