An Open Hand

Ep 85

Have you ever been in your sweet spot? Have you ever been doing something and thought WOW, this is what God created me to do. You’ve found your rhythm. 

Now if you haven’t, don’t worry, just get ready. It’s coming. But I want to hopefully save you some heartache if you ever get stuck. 

But if you know what I’m talking about, working in that sweet spot of your life, and then things just kind of stop. You don’t get to do that enough. The project loses its steam, or no one finds interest in the thing you were so excited about. It’s deflating. It’s defeating, and it may even put you in the position to start asking God, “Did I even hear You in the first place?

See, I’ve also been in that place too. Things just kind of fell apart after years of research and hard work. I thought, “God, I’m pretty sure I heard you in this. I thought I was hearing Your voice. This is a flop! Why? What did I do wrong? How did I mess this up?

Well, I have news for you. Just because something excites me and I work hard at it, doesn’t mean that God is going to grant me the thing I think I want. 

Yes, we can talk about someone’s momma telling their little precious they sing purdy. But that doesn’t mean that after years of voice lessons, and singing in front of 30 church members, means that they are going to land a recording contract and go on tour.

We have to take our focus off of our definition of what success is.

This has everything to do with how we define success. And when we don’t achieve it, then we blame God for not ordaining or blessing our hard work. Very few times do we even consider what God’s definition of success for our life is. Now the question becomes who is serving who? Are we the ones dictating how God is supposed to “bless us”? That’s a dangerous thing. 

One of the main keys to any success is to keep going once you start. Sometimes, it’s really that simple. Not giving up will take you very far, so it’s important to develop a habit of consistency.

Always walk with an open hand. Let me explain what I mean by walking with an open hand. 

It may sound silly at first, but bear with me. 

God, is a supernatural being and His part of this is usually supernatural. He can and does interact in the natural (they are called miracles, by the way). He certainly can do that. But usually He takes action in the supernatural. 

Let me explain something else to you. Yes, if you are a Christ follower, God has breathed life into you and awakened your spirit, so now, you are a supernatural being too, but we mainly interact in the natural because, we are natural beings.

God’s part, He mainly interacts in the supernatural. and our part, we mainly interact in the natural. Here is how it usually plays out. By faith, our part comes first. There is God’s part, there is our part, and our part comes first. 

So what that means is that you need to give your goal the time and effort that it takes.

That’s the only way to achieve it, seriously. I’ll put it this way, we cannot achieve it if we give up.

But remember, walk that path with an open hand. What do I mean by that? Well, if I’m working on something or I have a goal and I am clenching it in my hand, in other words, If I am taking the ownership of this, then I’m not giving the Lord access to it. I am holding on too tightly and He can’t be a part of it. He’s not going to force Himself to be a part of it. He’s not guiding me, I’m guiding me. 

But figuratively, if I’m walking and I’m holding this project in my hands, but I have my hands open, as if I’m presenting it, I’m holding it in my open hand, then He can take it and do something with it. He can change it, modify it, He can even exchange it for something else.

You see, He’s guiding the efforts now. Not me. 

Now He is the one defining success, not me. 

In those so called failed projects that I explained before, during all of that research, during all of that hard work and time I put into those projects, on the surface it seemed like a waste of time. By my definition of success. The way I was holding it, I wasn’t sharing it with Him. I heard His voice and direction, but I quickly took over and ran with it. I didn’t walk with an open hand. 

I’m still a starter. That’s how He made me. I can’t deny that. 

The middle can be hard. You lose some steam. You feel more doubts. If you give up, you may be missing out of His definition of success. Which by the way, is ALWAYS better. 

My part is being consistent. The world wants you to work harder. . . to make it happen. I may have a little success, but mainly end up tired.

If you are discouraged today, let me encourage you to keep doing what you are doing, stay consistent, but walk with an open hand. 

Let Him guide you. When you get excited about it like I do, get others involved. Go have coffee with someone and let them know what we talked about today. Ask them how they see your part and God’s part in this.

“There is safety in the multitude of His counsel” (Prov 11:14, Prov 15:22, Prov 24:6)

I intend to follow that today. 

I intend to Live the Freedom Life. Until next time, This is Kyle

Something’s Gotta Change


Have you ever reached a point where you’ve told yourself “Something’s Gotta Change”?

With everything going on nowadays, it may be a more common statement than I realized. There’s a lot of tension in our society right now. Including the weather, power outages, food shortages, boiling restrictions on water, Patience wears thin. Intolerance is at an all-time high with our society. Everywhere you look, there is a flavor of division, it’s everywhere. Unity seems like a pipe dream. We are a divided nation and it’s much more than politics. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, ep 84 and today’s title is “Something’s Gotta Change”.

Have you noticed that people are a little more on the edge than usual? It feels like there are more and more people willing to be rude, to provide contrast, or some may call it, bringing it to your attention so that you can be informed. Don’t worry, I’m not going to use the word “fight”. There is an air of superiority with a lot of people right now “because I know better than you so I’m going to let you know” in our nation right now.

I can’t tell you how many rude looks I’ve gotten and times I’ve gotten bumped into while shopping. It feels like a day at the NASCAR races when you push your cart down the aisle. People bumping into your cart, rolling their eyes if you stop to look at anything on the shelf because you are now in their way. Parking spaces stolen, line jumping, some random person giving you the WrestleMania stare while they take the last bag of tortillas off the shelf that’s right in front of you. 

I’m not making this stuff up. This is Texas. We are serious about our tortillas. 

Why do you think that shopping online is so popular? That’s right, people, not you of course, but the general public, they are rude. If we shop online, we don’t have to endure people. 

At first, I thought it was me. I thought that I was the common denominator with all of this rudeness I was seeing. 

Am I just THAT much in the way? Am I THAT much of a burden to the general public? 

If I were blocking the entire aisle with my cart, trying to decide which Pepper Jack slices to get, the 12 or the 24 pack, hmmmmmmm, let me think about this for a minute, oh yeah, I wrote it down somewhere, now where did my sticky note shopping list run off to? Completely oblivious to any traffic around me…

If I was that guy, then yeah, maybe so. But no. I’ve got my list, I’m efficient. And if it’s crowded, I only get what I need and get out. I’m not one to dilly dally and “see what’s new” on the shelves while the world is trying to get home and feed their family at the same time. 

Is this a rant?; maybe so.

But then, I stopped and meditated on this thought. Not while standing in the aisle, not even while I was shopping, I took some time to think about this later…much later.

What do you lay your trust in?

This is actually a common question that Jesus asked, no matter if He was talking to a leper, a poor beggar, or a high-profile church leader. He wanted us to realize the answer to this question. He already knew, but He wants us to see this about ourselves in the moment. 

When a crisis hits, what do you lay your trust in? It’s an important question and even when we know what the “right” answer is, we stray away from it before we realize it. 

When the last parking spot is taken by someone else who whipped right in, when the power is out and the temp hasn’t been above freezing in three days, when the grocery stores are completely empty and it looks like it won’t be anytime soon when they’re restocked; what do you lay your trust in?

It’s a very important question and trust is at the base of it. 

There are 4 elements of trust. I want to share these with you today because I think they will help you, they will help you answer some questions about yourself if you dare to ask them. When you do by the way, growth will be the byproduct of this when you do it.

The 4 Elements of trust are pretty simple but without them, trust can’t be present. 

  1. Consistency – In this context, we don’t like surprises. In order for us to trust someone, we have to experience consistency.
  2. Compassion – We have to believe that someone else has compassion on us.  In some cases it’s something as little as acknowledgement of awareness. Just being aware that you’re in the room can be enough. We need to believe that someone understands us. 
  3. Communication – We not only want to be understood, but we want to understand as well. Clear and frequent communication is crucial in building Trust. 
  4. Competency – We need to believe that the people that were around are competent. That they are able to not only understand, but they are capable of doing what we are expecting them to do, or at least do their part.

Without these four elements, it is nearly impossible to build trust. When we don’t see or experience these four elements, we tend to rely on ourselves more and more. 

We know ourselves the best and in some areas, we may think that we are the only ones who are worthy of our trust. Which means that our trust in everyone else, erodes away to the point of not trusting anyone. 

This doesn’t happen intentionally, but we have to be intentional to prevent it. 

What do you lay your trust in? For some people, it is themselves. When you see all this rudeness going on, all of this division, all of these power struggles, striving to get ahead of the next person, all of this unhealthy do or be done mentality. 

What do you lay your trust in?  It’s very revealing. 

You see, Something’s Gotta Change. All of this tension, all of this “awareness” that’s going on. Something’s Gotta Change. 

Do you know how that change will come? 

Through the only thing that you can control, you. Yes, Something’s Gotta Change and with something this big, the answer is always the same. 

Sometimes when things need to change, people get bitter, rude, and extremely vocal. Other times when things need to change, it’s mostly within ourselves. That is what we can control, is ourselves. Sometimes we can’t control what is going on outside, but we can control how we respond. 

A very common saying that we have in the coaching world is,”be the change you want to see”. 

If there is something that you want to see changed, exemplify that. The world just maybe waiting for you to be the first person to do so. You may be the trendsetter. You might be the one who starts a chain reaction of change that just maybe, just maybe, will change the way other people respond. 

Yeah, Something’s Gotta Change and it’s usually me. 

We are out of time, but today, let’s go out there and Live the Freedom Life. 

You just may be the answer the world has been waiting for. 

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

Embracing Failure Alone

Episode 83

I don’t like to fail. I’m sure you don’t either. But I have and I do fail. A lot. It’s difficult for me to keep moving, to keep trying after I realize that I have failed. Sometimes, I refuse to see it when it’s right in front of me. The most dangerous part about this is that most times when we fail, we face it alone. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, ep 83 and today we are talking about Embracing Failure Alone.

Well, today I would like to talk about Embracing Failure. 

When I think of someone embracing failure, I think of one of my favorite people. 

Thomas Alva Edison He has a Birthday this week. He was one who never got discouraged by failure. 

He holds almost 1100 patents on his inventions

He was the youngest of nine siblings.

At an early age he developed hearing problems and by the time he was a young adult, he was partially deaf. That strongly influenced his behavior and career, which led him to be one of the greatest inventors in two centuries.

You may be familiar with the Phonograph = This mechanical machine Recorded audio onto a wax cylinder and you could play it back. I have a canister that once held one of those wax cylinders sitting in my office. It took Edison over 800 failures to have this famed success of the Phonograph. Aren’t you glad he learned to embrace failure and kept going?

Another invention of Edison’s, the Mimeograph = The Mimeograph is interesting because it led to something that will soon be phased out of your office (if not already), the printer. 

Centuries ago, The Gutenberg printing press was purely mechanical. Edison’s Mimeograph was electronic. Edison had over 250 designs before he reached a successful stencil and copy with the Mimeograph. Aren’t you glad he learned to embrace failure?

Another invention of Edison’s was something he called the Electric Pen. Now the Electric Pen didn’t have much fame at the time, but you benefit from this everyday, in fact, right now. 

The Electric Pen laid the foundation to modern day electronic memory, in other words, the memory on your phone and other devices stemmed from Edison’s over 1,000 failures in the design of his Electric Pen. Aren’t you glad he learned to embrace failure?

And, before Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, Edison paved the way for him and came up with a way to transmit four signals on one wire for the telegraph. But, Edison found approximately 50 ways of how it shouldn’t be done.  Once again, embracing failure.

The Kinetoscope which led to the projector and ushered in the silent movies, he devised several plans to synchronize sound with moving pictures. That took many failures before success.

Last, but definitely not the least of Edison’s inventions is the infamous light bulb. By studying The Sun’s Corona emissions during a solar eclipse in the Rocky Mountains, the vision for Edison’s incandescent light bulb started. It wasn’t until 15 years later was he successful in the light bulb. 

One of the most famous quotes of Edison, and it is my favorite. It is the anchor of this episode. Edison said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Once more, Thomas Edison wasn’t alone. He always had at least one other person along side him. Oh, at first, he thought it was to supplement his hearing ailment. Then he learned that another perspective was important. Peer pressure to succeed and synergy was important too. But one of the most important of those character traits that ‘ol Tommy and his team had, was trust in each other. Sure they had differences but they learned to appreciate them and saw power in that. 

They learned together that failure isn’t just an answer to our efforts. We often look at our failure as a permanent answer when we try something new. We don’t like to fail. That’s the reason most people don’t like to try new things. Then we complain that things are always the same. We convince ourselves that there is no use in trying because there will always be failure. And remember, we don’t like to fail so we don’t try new things. If that were the case, we would still be living in caves and tents.

Thomas Edison learned that failure was a mere recalculation, to steer us toward a solution, to succeed and he learned that we should not do it alone. 

That’s why we offer what we offer.

Failure can tell us not only about what we’ve done isn’t successful, but it can begin to tell us about who we are. 

There is a big difference between failing at something and thinking you are a failure.

There is always recalculation.  

We hope that you understand that everyone faces failure.  

We hope that you aren’t facing failure alone.

If you are, we want to help.

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle. 

Going Through Hell

Episode 82

One of the main keys to success is to keep going when you start. I’m sure that you’ve heard the old adage, “If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” Let me explain a few things today that’s helped a lot of people. This has EVERYTHING to do with Living the Freedom Life and I want to share it with you. This is Episode 82 named after those infamous words of Winston Churchill, We are talking about “Going Through Hell” today.  

If you aren’t in it, or been through it, now may be the time to prepare for it. Notice I didn’t say expect it because it really isn’t in the plan for you to experience. 

We are talking about going through Hell today. People who have been there, it’s like a telepathic code, like two war veterans being able to silently communicate about understanding each other’s hardship. Once you go, you know… and you can easily see it in others.

If you haven’t, well all I can say is, “bully for you”. 

Well, I believe there is a great deal that we can learn from history. If we don’t, it has been said that we are doomed to repeat it.

Almost a 100 years ago this week, a 65 year old, chubby, frumpy faced man took on a new job. It would be one of the most infamous feats of the 20th century. The man, was Winston Churchill and the job, was to be Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. When he took the job, the British looked to be done for, by the vicious and victorious German Natzis of World War II. Churchill was in office for two weeks and France was knocked out of the war, only to send 340,000 British troops scurrying to escape over the beaches at Dunkirk, crossing the channel to safety.

The Germans had absolute control over all of Europe and it eerily seemed to be Britain’s fate that they wouldn’t survive. 

Just as in any good story, where all hope is lost and it seems there is no way out, here comes our hero, providing such a wake up call to the greatness that’s inside all of us, that no person can deny.

When Churchill addressed the people that were looking to him to save their beloved nation, he laid out his plan bluntly. He said “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.” He rallied and told them all the places and situations they would fight and erupted with “we shall never, never, ever give up”. Churchill used language that he knew would rouse the fighting spirit that still remained in the British people. And he activated the entire UK.

As it happened, the Royal Air Force was outnumbered, but that didn’t stop them by beating the Germans day after day, month after month. 

Eventually, they not only survived that time, but they were able to claim victory over those odds, and built back much more that the city that was bombed, but they built back a resilience, they had tested their tenacity, and hope proved to show itself faithful. 

Just like many of you who have been through some things. It wasn’t a one day decision to stop doing this or that. It was consistency of effort with sweat and drive over a long period of time, longer than you thought it would take, but you got through it. 

There are others who are in the middle of something and need to hear that victory is actually an option where everything seems lost and hopeless. 

As Churchill reflected back on that time, he would later describe it by saying, “If you’re going through Hell, keep going.

There is a song by Rodney Atkins that has sprinboarded off Churchill’s famous statement adding 

If you’re going through Hell, keep on going, 

don’t slow down, if you’re scared don’t show it, 

you might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.

While this isn’t a exactly a theological statement, or a statement on religious doctrine, what I hope that you hear today is that even though you may feel that you are under tremendous odds, that you feel there is no way out, keep going. Don’t give up. Please, do_not_ever_quit. Fight for the things and freedoms that’s on your heart.

Listen, as a former Hell dweller, I know it may be hard right now, but you have to keep going. There is a way out. There is hope. In fact, if you are listening to this podcast and you are not going through something difficult right now, would you please pray for those who are listening and they are going through, maybe what is the fight of their life right now. Pray for them.

A Unique Set of Skills

Episode 81

When it comes to New Year Resolutions, by now, there are only four options. Either you are well on your way to accomplishing the task you set out, or they’ve flopped, or you didn’t make any, or, the fourth option is that you just need some encouragement to keep going. This is episode # 81 and you’re listening to Living the Freedom Life.

We have been talking about New Year Resolutions for a few episodes now and though you may grow tired of the topic, we deal with this topic or concept of Resolutions every day. See, in some arenas, it’s called a Resolution, in other circles, it’s called a goal, while sometimes we make (all throughout the year) we make statements like “I need to be more….” fill in the blank here. That is what we do here at Kyle McMurray Coaching. 

After making those well-intentioned New Year resolutions, what do you think usually happens around this time of year? After we are a few weeks in and the honeymoon has worn off, a little reality has set in. We get busy, we begin to make excuses, we start to feel the monkey on our back, there’s little nitpicking thoughts that come. 

This reminds me of the story about an eagle.  An eagle is the symbol of our nation, powerful, strong, wise, majestic and well, something you don’t want to mess with. Like a lion is the King of the jungle, I suppose the Eagle is at the top of the food chain in the air. If you’ve ever been to a zoo and seen an eagle up close, when you see the size of those talons and that sharp beak, you’ll be convinced, there’s not much of anything an Eagle can’t accomplish in its surroundings. They’re equipped to conquer.

I’ve been in the High Country and I saw this for myself in the wild. Do you know the only bird that will mess with an Eagle is a crow? Now, Crows are pretty smart. They’ve been shown to remember human faces and quickly assess what and who is a threat.

Here is what they do. Crows are also very particular about their territory. When they see something as big as an eagle landing on what they feel is their turf, they think it’s a threat and they attack.

In comparison the Eagle is about three times the size of a Crow so the Crow can maneuver quickly and land on the Eagle’s back. 

A Crow will hitch a ride, in mid air and start pecking at the Eagle’s neck to send a message, so to speak.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel as if I have something pecking on my neck when I’m trying to concentrate.

Here is something that I’ve learned from an Eagle in that situation. Even though the eagle is well-equipped to conquer and get rid of the problem, he chooses to fight a more efficient way.

He fights with his unique set of skills. He doesn’t use the same weapons that are being used against him. 

We don’t fight with flesh and blood we fight against principalities. Eph 6:12  

You are made after God’s image. If God is infinitely strong and powerful, then you have your own unique set of skills that He has given you. 

You probably heard statements like “rise above it” and “take the high road”. That’s what if Asian six is talking about. Giving us the ability to rise above it, to put on the armor of God. I encourage you to read the entire chapter of Ephesians 6. because at the end, the only thing that Paul says is give me the boldness to speak as I ought to speak. When we use the armor of God, the word of the Lord, truth, the gospel of peace, all of these things, just like the eagle.

 See, what happens with the eagle is that he begins to fly upwards. The crow is still on his back, but he continues to fly higher. The higher he flies, the harder it is for the crow to breathe.  Soon, the crow will fall. 

Here is where we get confused and fooled. Let’s say we’ve been walking with the Lord for a while. We see His strength in us and we begin to notice our huge talons, our sharp beak and our size. Then one day, we do something as simple as land in an area and take a break. For some reason, unknown to us, here come some crows. We know we have the advantage in the air so we take off flying. The temptation will be to show our strength.

Yeah, there may be times where you get pecked in the neck. It’s annoying and it can hurt. 

But, just like the eagle, don’t waste your time on the crows. The freeing thing is when you realize they don’t have anything you need. 

The oxygen may be thin for them, but this atmosphere is what you’re made for. Just take them to your heights, and watch them fall by the thousands. Just like we read in Psalm 91:7-16.

Spiritual warfare seems so mystical. It’s not. Another thing about spiritual warfare is that it’s not weird. Read Ephesians 6 and you’ll see.

We are out of time, but I want to encourage you that you have a unique set of skills given by our creator. The way you fight back, may not look like what you think it does. But when you begin to soar upward, when you begin using your unique set of skills, you will be Living the Freedom Life.

The Art of Marinating

Ep 80

I want to ask you a rhetorical question. How many times have you been talking to someone, they ask “How have you been?”, and your answer goes something like this… 

Oh man, I’ve been really busy.” Or “Yeah, I just don’t have time for much anymore, between work and family.” 

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life Ep 80 and today we are talking about being The Art of Marinating.

When we first started this podcast, when we were dreaming up the concept of Living the Freedom Life, I had the thought “We need to make this short, to the point. I’m so tired of listening to podcasts that last 45 minutes and they only REALLY say about 5 minutes of worthwhile stuff. I think everyone is much too busy and they don’t want to sift through the fluff.” 

See, the assumption here is that everyone is so intelligent nowadays, that all we need is a boiled down version, all we need is the Cliff Notes or the Highlights. 

I’m no longer convinced of this. If we are so intelligent, why are we still having such moral failures? Why do we still feel like we’re just floating through life? We’ve lost sight of knowing what it really means to thrive. Why do so many still struggle with such elementary life skills? 

I’m not saying that I’m immune to this. What I am saying is that I believe we have lost the art of marinating. 

I hope you know what I mean by this.

This isn’t a New Concept. Most of us have heard about living in a microwave Society. 

There’s an art to slowing down. 

Not only is there a great art to slowing down, but there’s great power in it as well. 

Yes, rest is important. In fact, it made the top 10 list, you know, keeping the Sabbath. 

Pastor Brady Boyd book “Addicted to Busy- Recovery for the Rushed Soul”. 

It takes a while for a person to get to the point to where you can become prideful in spewing how busy you are. As though it’s a Rite of Passage. Or it shows how important you are. How much people depend on you. 

Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Overworked is the new uneducated. Being busy is just a red flag showing that one doesn’t know how to set boundaries in their life. 

What we’re talking about today isn’t an atrocity. If a lot of people trust you, depend on you, end call on you for advice, that’s a great gift. 

Just like I can throw some chicken, right from the freezer, on to the grill, and it will come out to be a great meal.  However, if we take the time to blend some spices and sauces together and put that chicken in a bag and let it marinate, NOW that will have new meaning.

You see, being busy isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But if we learn the art of marinating, I believe things will be much better, deeper, richer and much more full of flavor. 

When I explain marinating, what I really mean is meditating. I’m not talkin about sitting in the corner with your legs crossed and a fruity hat on your head reciting chants. 

All meditation is, is taking the time to stop, slow your mind down, that takes time. And be intentional about what you’re thinking about. Some people call this practice mindfulness. 

We are instructed to practice this in the Bible.

I’ll have a link in the show notes on the scripture reference in Philippians, but I’d like to paraphrase if I can.

Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

He’s asking us to meditate on these things. So, instead of us focusing on things that are lies, where to focus on things that are true.  instead of focusing on things that are shameful and embarrassing, think on these things that are noble.  instead of trying to figure out how to get the upper hand or the advantage on someone, think on these things that are just.  instead of imagining what the worst case scenario could be, think of things that are pure and lovely.  Instead  of believing the worst intentions, let’s start looking at the things that are of a good report.  if there’s any goodness, and virtue, and if there’s anything praiseworthy, we are to meditate on these things.  That’s what Philippians 4 verse 8 is talking about. 

If we are able to put these things into practice in our everyday life, we will in fact begin to start Living the Freedom Life. If we were able to push out those thoughts and focus ourselves on this scripture, how we are to discipline our fault life into thinking on these things, we will be Living the Freedom Life. That’s our hope for everyone listening today.

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.


Ep. 79

As we dive into today’s topic… It’s one that I face quite often and I’m sure you do too. Even with our Coaching clients, we find that this is a huge driver to many things we do in our lives. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is episode 79 and today we are talking about Rejection.

Ah yes. Rejection. All of us have experienced it, there is no need wasting time defining it. That’s why our podcast is short. I want to respect your time. Everyone is busy. You don’t need to spend 40 minutes listening to fluff when we can boil it down to 5. 

Hmmmm, I just realized, that could sound a little like Rejection in certain circumstances.

Rejection is a driving force that can either dig a deep hole in our soul or, motivate us to do things or go places we wouldn’t have tried otherwise. 

I’m going to make a bold statement here, there is only one cure for Rejection. Only one. The only cure for Rejection is Acceptance. 

That doesn’t mean in order for me to be healed, I need to be accepted from the Opposing Red Rover team that always picked me and then laughed when I didn’t make it through the line.

In other words, I don’t need to be accepted by the specific person who rejected me. Most of the time, that is not a reality. Coming to that truth is hard and I don’t minimize it. Because even though I joked about playing Red Rover, we are talking about a serious matter. Rejection is a cruel and powerful thing. As I said, it can either dig a deep hole in our soul, or motivate us into greatness.

When I began to read the Bible, I started where you read all books, at the beginning. At the time, not much of the Bible made sense to me, at all. But I remember when I got a little ways into it, I came across where two brothers gave a sacrifice to God. Cain and Abel. I didn’t really get tied up in why they were giving sacrifices to Him, but I remember thinking that it was a pretty harsh thing to “Reject” one and accept the other. How great it must be to be accepted. 

I had been rejected and I put myself there, in this brother’s shoes, feeling his rejection, and like him, I was angry about it. 

Now, the unfolding of that situation in my heart caused, not a monologue, but a dialogue between God and me. It was one of the first times that I’ve ever recognized it was Him. 

I was asking “Why did you reject me?” When it comes down to it, that’s what everyone wants to know, isn’t it? We instantly start to doubt the type of person we are. Rejection feels like we are some kind of horrible person. We search for some kind of logic to make sense of why we were rejected. Mostly only finding pain.

Rejection hurts. The closer the person is to us, the deeper the pain turns out to be.

Now there are some people that seem to live in the realm of rejection. Do you know someone like that? They get offended about everything. Well, it may mean something entirely different than you think. 

It may mean that they’ve had such a pattern of rejection in their life, that this is where they find acceptance. Even if it means getting rejected all over again. The hope of finding even a shimmer of momentary acceptance at the expense of getting shut down is still better. 

I’ll say it again, Acceptance is the only cure for Rejection. 

There are other people that take rejection and turn it into fuel. They are motivated by it. It empowers them. 

But either path we choose, Rejection is a powerful driving force and acceptance is the only thing that will extinguish it. Acceptance is the only thing that can reverse the damage done by being Rejected.

Wanna know what the Lord said to me when I was reading in Gen 4 about Cain and Abel?

If you know the story, and if you know mine, you will see. But He did the same thing with me as He did Cain. 

First off, He let me live. There was a time where I wanted to die and He knew that. Because of the position I was in, He also knew that I beat myself up for the sin that I’m responsible for in my life. And He made me a promise. The same one that He made Cain. That He will be with me. That no one will kill me. And it turned out for Cain, that he had a wife, a family and was building a city. Apparently, Cain was responsible for great influence around him and he knew that it wasn’t about him. 

Cain found acceptance. God gave me acceptance too. Not just mere acceptance, but He has proven Himself to be a keeper of His promises, He loves us, He wants to bless us, He wants us to live this Freedom Life that we keep talking about. 

I know we’re out of time today, but I want to tell you that if you are feeling rejected, ask God some questions. He just may be waiting to wrap you up in His arms, accept you right where you are, and give you the opportunity to find out how His promises lay out in your life. 

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle