Resolution, Schmed-jo-lution | Kyle McMurray Coaching, LLC

Ep 78

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 5:32 — 4.3MB)

How many of you have made it this far? You know, with your New Year Resolutions. Are you still holding down the fort, even though the enemy is circling? Why are resolutions so hard? I know, resolutions are usually things, that I know that I should be doing, but aren’t.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is ep78 Resolution, Schmed-jo-lution.

Did you make one this year? A resolution? I can imagine you did. Whether you realized it or not, you probably made a resolution of some kind.

Why? 2020 was a rough year, in some way or another, it was for everyone. Some of you will, including me, try to give the Miss America Pageant answer and say that there was some good in it. Well of course there was. But as a whole, we wanted to see it gone. The statements may be different, (our resolutions) but none of us want to repeat 2020.

So we make our determining statements and try to choke it down with hope that it sticks. Oh sure, there will be a couple of waves where we muster up some determination, some more willpower to move forward.

By the way, let me say this, all resolutions aren’t bad. There have been some amazing things accomplished through a New Year resolution. But I want to point out something today that some of you may not realize.

In the work that I do, by definition, we’ve just described what we call an Inner Vow.

Let me explain what this is and how it happens.

An Inner Vow begins with a Judgement. A judgement is a generalized negative decision that we’ve made, with a negative expectancy against something or someone.

Here’s an example,

There was a girl you liked in 4th grade and her name was Missy, she was mean to you on the playground and now you no longer like anyone named Missy. That’s a judgment. (No, there was no one named Missy. That name was just used as an example. For all of you Missy’s out there, I don’t have anything against you. This is just an example.)

It may or may not be about that specific person, it can be a generalization. Another way to describe this is to have a negative stereotype. That is a judgement against a certain type of people and the expectation of what’s in their heart. If you want to elevate this even more, racism is another way to describe this.

These all begin with judgements. Now, if that’s not ugly enough, let’s talk about Inner Vows.

Inner Vows are determinations, or promises, or an oath we make internally; they are a response to a Judgement we’ve made. An Inner Vow is swearing to yourself that something you feel and believe, that you are now obligated and determined to carry out.

That sounds a lot like a resolution, doesn’t it?

And don’t get me wrong, not all resolutions are to this extreme.

What I’m pointing out here is to warn you of an unhealthy harmony that happens in the heart.

It’s okay to tell yourself “This year, I’m going to do thus and so…” In our Coaching practice; that’s pretty important to have goals. When we take it too far is when we begin to attach ‘who we are’ to that. Does that make sense? Of course it does, yall are smart.

When the success or failure of these resolutions begin to tell us who we are, then that is not healthy. That is not Living the Freedom Life that we so often talk about.

Whether or not, I am still a child of the King, no matter if I can fit in my flip-flops or not.

We have tools to help with these things and we’ve made our website as easy as we know how, for you to do that.

I just wanted to give you a clearer idea of what the progressions are in making resolutions. I wanted to give you some life today. Because remember… We give away what we have, Let’s make sure we receive life. Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle