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The Growth Battle

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We are creatures of habit. I know that you know this and probably have quite a few examples of this truth in your life. Some, you would even be willing to admit. Habit is one of the enemies of Growth.

I want to share with you today a topic that we commonly face at Kyle McMurray Coaching, and that is the unspoken, outwardly silent but inwardly violent battle for your Growth.

I’ve recently fought this battle and I want to share it with you. Sometimes that’s the best coaching, just sharing my story.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life Podcast, and today we are talking about The Growth Battle.

It’s been said that you are always growing, it just depends on which direction.

You get to choose. Either towards or away from a goal that you have. I’m a firm believer that there’s no such thing as being stagnant.

You see, everyone has goals. Everyone has an ideal self that they have in their mind. Most people don’t know how to get that person to come forward in their life. And that is where we come in. This is an area where we help people, a great deal. I love my work.

A very important truth that we teach our clients is that:

Growth and comfort do not coincide. You can either grow or be comfortable, but not both.

Growth takes motivation, willingness, honesty, (you will hear me say those two a lot), Growth takes friction and effort, it takes a desire and a little bit of recklessness where you’ve trusted some processes in your life that unknowingly are keeping you from moving forward. In order for us to grow, we have to be willing to throw Comfort aside.

Growth is uncomfortable. It takes effort toward doing things in new ways, having faith in new things, thinking in different ways and even looking at things and situations in ways we’ve never seen before.

The problem is, we like comfort. Our brain is quite amazing at figuring out things, making an easier way for us to live life, convenience is usually King. But, convenience is also crippling us.

There’s a song that asks the question, “When was the last time, you did something for the first time?” We are creatures of habit and we usually don’t like change.

Well, last week I tried something new as an entrepreneur. Owning a small business is not for the faint of heart and I want to share five takeaways from that experience.

The first thing I learned was we are to find our own voice. Find out what makes us tick, so to speak. In other words, discover what God had in mind when He created you. When you are able to do that, offer that towards helping others. When we help others as an expression of ourselves, This is what I like to call “Kingdom economy”.
The second thing I learned is that a successful business owner will find ways to do what others avoid doing. In recovery we have a common saying that goes something like this “I’m going to choose what’s hard today.” It’s human nature for us to seek out comfort. The more I’m willing to put in the hard work, my clients won’t have to.
The third thing is something that I’m trying to wrap my head around. I haven’t quite learned this one yet. It’s a concept called “De-risking”. It’s the same concept that asks how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. In other words, by taking bite-size risks, it enables me to fail forward and learn from those small failures. The question is not whether I’m going to fail or not, I’m a small business owner, there will be small failures. Not everything is going to be a success. But it’s up to me to manage the size of those failures by the bite sized risks I take. Instead of taking frequent huge leaps of faith, we are being led on a daily basis by the Holy Spirit.
Number four is something that I share with our clients quite frequently. Unexpected setbacks are part of it. When you’re talking with someone about recovery, relapse is a part of the equation. You don’t expect it to happen, you’re just prepared for it when it does. The solutions must come from a good place and turned into learning experiences to have new proof of the old way not working.
And finally number five really has two parts. I guess 5.1 would be get a few mentors. Surround yourself with 3-5 people that are higher caliber than you. It may not be easy for you to find them, and you don’t necessarily have to let them know that they are mentoring you. Just ask them if you can take them for coffee. You would be surprised. On to 5.2 Is when you meet with these people that you respect, Present yourself with potential mentors by showing them your work instead of asking for help while you’re empty-handed. In other words, show them that you value your own time and that you’ve put work into what you’re sharing with them. If you’re not confident about what you are doing, odds are people are not going to invest in you either.

I hope some of this made sense to you today. I may not have shared a lot of specifics about my life today, but I have shared a lot of specific things that I have learned through some hardships in my life.

There’s a better you inside of you. I just know it. And I think you do too.

But in order for that person to come forward in your life, We have to take some risks, we have to get outside of our comfort zone, we have to think outside of the box, we need to learn to see things differently. We can help with all of these things. It’s my passion. As I said before, I love my work.

Thank you for listening today. Make sure and subscribe to the podcast and I’d love for you to leave a review for us.

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.

What’s Next?

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Episode 91

The week after Easter. Yes, I am grateful for His resurrection and I’m convinced that the resurrection of Jesus Christ is the single most important event in history.

That being said, I’m a “Rubber Meets the Road” type of guy, where “The proof is in the puddin” as my Grandad would say.

This week I would like to talk about, well for 40 days after Jesus walked out of the tomb, He spent it with the Disciples. By sticking fingers in His wounds, walking through walls, and assuring some pretty amazed faces that He was indeed, alive.

Along with that, were some residual facts. Like conquering death, overcoming the enemy, Healing, and now…”What’s Next?”

This week, like every week, I would like to talk about the answer to that question. “What’s Next?

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is episode 91 What’s Next

Can you imagine how they felt? The Disciples may have felt like there was about to be a major overthrow and they were finally on the side of victory!

I mean, if you are listening to this and you are an American Christian, the reality is that you are not being persecuted for your faith, not like these guys were. I’m not trying to minimize your reality today, but the odds are, you have not experienced, nor are you experiencing persecution like the people during Jesus’ time when He walked the Earth.

They were looking for relief. They were looking for someone to stand up to the Romans, to a real persecutor. Not someone who may or may not have an agenda. Not an occasional death that may look like hate.

No, they knew what real persecution was. They may have been looking for someone who would lead them, to channel their agony, to direct their sorrow and avenge their woes.

And they just experienced seeing their leader walk out of the tomb?!?!?! They saw how he was beaten. They knew how skilled the Roman Empire was at tourture. And Jesus comes back from that, and in essence asking “What’s Next?”

Because a week earlier, when death had finished, everything seemed to be lost. Now things were different. So, What’s Next?

You may be asking the same question. Yes, you may have recently confessed that Jesus is the Lord of your life, and now you are asking “What’s Next?”

You might be “What’s Next?” to a situation where you have forgiveness, but you don’t know how to move forward, or just trying to figure out how to live a life that is good, and just, and how to be a better person than you are now. You are asking “What’s Next?”

You may already know this but Jesus lived a perfect life. The Bible tells us that He experienced and was tempted in all things. So He understands. No matter what you are going through, He understands.

But He also knows that we aren’t living a perfect life. I mean, we just can’t. There is something inside us that defaults to rottenness. No matter how hard we try, we can’t be perfect. As obvious as that sounds, we still try. We can’t.

Part of the Good News is, yes, Jesus offers us forgiveness for that. And He does, in a real way. But that still leaves us with the question, “What’s Next?”

All of us WANT what Jesus died for, full forgiveness. He came for Easter, no doubt.

But He walked out of that tomb, conquered death, and stayed another 40 days after that. He came for so much more than a hill called Calvary.

He came to answer your personal “What’s Next?”

You see, whether we realize it or not, we WANT the life that He died to give us.

What happens after the cross is an exchange of life.

The stuff, our rottenness is paid for with Christ’s blood. That’s on Calvary and He gave up His life. But now His life, His perfect life is now transferred to YOU. Yeah, you CAN live a perfect life. Through Him. Through His life.

See, we trade our death for His Death. When we do that, then He trades His Life for our life.

Dr. Rice Brooks says it this way, “The Gospel is the Good news that God became man in Jesus Christ. He lived the life we should have lived and died the death we should have died-in our place.”

“What’s Next?” Well, the simple answer is Living the Freedom Life! This is why we call our podcast by that name!

Jesus said in John 14:26 “But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you.”

A couple of things about this.

1. We need to know what He said. If the Holy Spirit is going to remind us of the things Jesus said, we need to know the things He said. At KyleMcMurray Coaching, we give our clients what we call “Self-Investment Steps”. There is an element of study. We give homework. There is an investment that you need to make in yourself in order to see a permanent change.

2. We need to be teachable at all times. If the Father sends the Comforter and He is to teach us all things, our job is to be teachable. Have you ever heard the statement “Unteachable children will grow to be unemployable adults.” The Bible tells us this same thing in many different ways.

Those two things are key elements in your discovery of “What’s Next?”

We are out of time today, but I want to remind you that we are available, online, by phone, chat, social media. We want to help in your journey.

Remember, Coaching isn’t therapy. It’s product development, with you as the product. We develop people.

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

No Foolin

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Ep 90

Happy Calendar Day! Oh, you know today is usually called April Fool’s Day…on April 1st. But are you aware of how this day of expected trickery began? It’s really all about the calendar. We’ll talk about it in just a moment. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast. Ep 90………..No Foolin’

There was something wrong with the calendar. Something terribly wrong. We are talking about much more than just our recent debates of Daylight Saving Time.

Back in 46BC (For the younger Historians, that would be AUC708 Yet, another way to keep track of time) Back then, the Greeks were experts at calculating and charting, they had devised the Julian Calendar. Of which we would be celebrating New Year’s Day, today. There was quite a bit of confusion about the calendar; whether it was 442 days in a year, 355, or was it 378? Then there were days added on something called “irregular years” and well, as you can see, there was a lot more to be worried about than if your birthday fell on Feb 29th. They were adding and subtracting days to the calendar, no wonder we really don’t know much about history.

The calculations were off, ever so slightly. Enough to where we couldn’t determine when things happened in history, when to celebrate, when to expect to plant, and therefore when to expect to harvest.

Fast forward to the year 1582, yeah, still, a long time ago. So long in fact, that we needed a calendar reformation. France was leading the charge for change. Then, Pope Gregory XIII commissioned the Gregorian Calendar and made it official. The Council of Trent in 1563 said “This is the way we are going folks”. Now, stay with me on this.

News didn’t exactly travel fast back then. People who were slow to get the news or failed to recognize that the start of the new year had moved from April to January 1 they were marked as fools, and people would make fun of them. Hence, the beginning of what we know now as a particular day for fools.

The first pranks included having paper fish placed on their backs and being referred to as poisson d’avril (April fish), it’s meant to symbolize a young, “easily hooked” fish, like a gullible person. It’s still a tradition in France. And now you can see why the rest of the world celebrates this day of tricks and pranks.

April Fools day quickly spread through all of Europe. It became a two day event. Even today, there are a lot of people who get excited about pulling pranks on people. Some can get out of hand. Now, I’m all for a good harmless joke occasionally.

But it usually doesn’t not stop there. Think about it, this started because someone didn’t know something. Or they didn’t want to comply with this new big change. I mean, a calendar affects everything!

We are not talking about a disease, or a virus, or whether or not you have a shot, if you like to wear a mask or not, or even what turmoil is going on today.

What I am saying is that it is sometimes easy to look down on someone because they don’t have the same information than you.

Sometimes it’s easy to think someone is foolish when they don’t comply with certain changes.

Sometimes it’s easy to show how I have better protection, better information, or that how I think I am right.

But when it comes down to it, I see something very wrong today. Something terribly wrong.

And it needs to be fundamentally changed. . . and it’s as drastic as changing the calendar.

It’s not as important for me to be right, as it is for me to do what is right.

If me doing what is right is to let someone be wrong, then so be it. I may be standing in the way of a life lesson for that person and I may not be the one who is chosen to help them along the way to find it.

Just because I have the understanding, doesn’t mean I’m the one to share it. Sometimes that understanding is just a gift for me.

The point is this, Today, on a day that is hinting on being mean spirited, choose wisely.

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.

Pebble in My Shoe

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Ep 89

Have you ever had a pebble in your shoe? You know, like a small rock or something hard inside your shoe? It can be really annoying rolling around in there. I mean, you can push through it. You know, mind over matter and all that. But don’t worry, it will still be there later to surprise you. Who wants to take the time, who HAS the time to take off their shoe and take care of a pebble inside? There are times that I’m convinced, I don’t. So, on I go. Walking through my day, with this small rock in my shoe. Jabbing my foot every time I step. Hmmmm.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, Ep 89 “Pebble in My Shoe”.

How many times have we had something in our life, nothing major; in fact, it’s probably pretty small, just enough to get our attention and yet we ignore it? We go about life as if it’s not there. That’s like having a pebble in our shoe.

Now there is something to be said about the power of ignoring things that don’t matter. It’s a great trait to have when you need to focus. (Getting bogged down in the weeds.)

When I need focus, we use certain tools, keeping a calendar, using an app, even keeping some type of notebook handy to track your day seems to be a great help.

See, I’m big on systems. I love to create systems that help people, almost automated systems that help people take care of things in life. So that their life will open up in other areas, to increase their capacity in places where they are passionate.

The solution to having a pebble in our shoe is something pretty simple that all of us know. Take care of the pebble!

If we don’t pause for self-care today, we will be forced to deal with it later.

Why then do we feel superior when we are able to push through the pain when in reality, we don’t need to and it will be better and sometimes less painful if we do.

There are only two standard answers here.

“It’s not that bad” – We think the pebble is not that big of a deal. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. The question is, “How are you looking at it?”
1. According to Business Insider, if Jeff Bezos (the founder and CEO of Amazon) if Jeff saw a $1,000 bill on the sidewalk, he would lose money if he stopped to pick it up. b/c he makes $2,500 a second. It would take him more than one second to stop and pick it up. So technically, it would be more profitable for him to continue his day without taking the time to stop, bend over and pick up a $1,000 bill off the sidewalk.
2. But the question is “How are you looking at it?” Maybe that’s the reason he DOES pick it up. The mentality of taking care of the little things and seeing their impact down the road is crucial. If he overlooks places where he is missing $1,000 at a time, he won’t be the Billionaire as we know him, very long.
Which brings us to the second standard answer, “I’m too busy” – The belief of “I’m too busy” to take care of the pebble, is a lie.
1. No one, I repeat, NO ONE is too busy to deal with pebbles in their life. Whether you realise it or not, the pebble is affecting the way you walk. Subconsciously, you are compensating for the pebble. I WILL affect the way you walk today.
2. It probably reveals that Priorities may be out of whack.
3. If you think you are too busy, then you are keeping the calendar of a fool (ouch). There are some who are “Addicted to Busy”. Brady Boyd has a book by that same title that I suggest, if this resonates with you. We may need to look at maybe an inflated sense of importance or setting some boundaries in your life that have been ignored for a long time. The lie is that, things look to be more important than they are. Remember, our enemy will use all types of smoke and mirrors to get us to believe something other than what is true. In his book I mentioned, Brady says “If Satan can’t stop you, he will push you to be so busy, that you’ll want to stop.” He does that by distorting our priorities.

We can help in both of these areas.

Something as small as a pebble can be ignored.

But how are you looking at it?

Do you think you are too busy?

Will this still be affecting the way you walk today?

Are you believing a lie?

Can you even see what is true in the situation?

We can help untangle all of these questions and more. Hey, if you enjoy this podcast, subscribe and write a review wherever you get your podcasts. We would appreciate it, but, if you do that, you just may be helping someone else discover that they too, can be Living the Freedom Life.

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

The Sabbath

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Ep 88

I was setting up a new calendar for our Practice and in the settings it asked me if I wanted Sunday or Monday to be the first day of the week. Out of habit, we usually set our calendars up by starting on Sunday, but we usually wrap up Sunday in our mind, with the weekend. It’s bundled up in the same lot. Or at least I have. Just using the word “weekend” suggests that Sunday is the LAST day of the week and not the first. It’s kind of confusing. And who is the author of confusion? Hmmmmmm.

You see, the Sabbath made it in the top 10 list. You know, the 10 commandments. They are in Exodus 20 and again in Deut 5. So, it must be pretty important. Ya think?

Then, it dawned on me, even before that, Adam’s first day, was Sabbath. Okay, so now I know it HAS to be important. The order was already established at the beginning for Adam. It was rest…then work. He didn’t “hit the ground running” like we’re supposed to do in the workplace.

It’s like he was born into grace. It was his inherited rhythm of life. This is just how things are, how they work, this is how it goes. Be with God THEN go do with God. That’s it. Right at the beginning, God was saying “This is how we’re gonna roll.”

Truth is we are living monuments of what God has done and is doing. In every way, we were made for Sabbath. We need it to understand truth, we need it to assimilate, we need it in order to catch up–to process the days between Sabbaths.

Here is the most important part of what is commonly believed about the Sabbath. It’s not a do nothing day… it’s a catch up to life day. I’m not talking about going to the grocery store or catching up on emails, yardwork, or even social media. It is reserved to give us an opportunity to catch up to our source of life. And plug into that.

Maybe you’ve heard that the Sabbath is designed to “charge our batteries” so that we can go out there and live life.

If you want to put another metaphor to it, The Sabbath is designed to keep our antennas connected that detect His guidance to live life. I can’t use a wireless microphone antenna for television signal. It’s not designed for that. But we DO have a specific antenna He’s given us for His Kingdom and He’s given us the power to Live the Freedom Life, we just have to “plug into it”. To make sure it’s connected. How many of you understand that you can have an antenna, but if it’s not connected to the receiver, it’s just trash on your roof. Or as Paul put it, “a clanging cymbal”.

Throughout history, people have missed the point of Sabbath, most tried to keep the Sabbath commandment without even practicing the Sabbath. They’ve missed the whole concept of why it’s there.

You may have heard these things before, and I have too, but I want to learn more. I believe there’s something major that we’re missing when we forget to live in the rhythm like Adam.

In music we talk a lot about playing in the groove. Getting in the pocket. I want to do just that and celebrate it–practice it, the way God leads.

Sabbath is the celebration of a covenant between God and mankind from generation to generation. It’s all about getting to know the God who is the Lord of life. It’s so we will not forget.

It is a day to prepare for the week ahead…It’s the first day of the week and we are to give it to HIM. It is a tithe of something more precious than money, our time. We may get into that for another episode.

Have you ever approached a big job and it took more than you to accomplish it? What was your approach? Did you get others involved? Of course you did. That’s a common sense model of teamwork in the workplace. You schedule meetings to gather together and strategise, it gives opportunity for leadership, direction, vision casting and clear communication. That process is important. It’s the life blood of success. If some form of this model isn’t followed, missing the mark or some flavor of failure is on it’s way. The business world has a pretty good grasp of the same concept as what is intended for Sabbath.

People that go through life just “winging it”, are in truth, unpredictable and dangerous. Now, there is a balance in that. Sometimes you have to wing it. But God has provided you the power, the permission, and the authority to go take dominion. Don’t waste those provisions and not listen to the Captain of your ship.

God is God and we are not; but, God and I do fit together. We share the same blood, the same breath, and the same Spirit. I need a regular time to let that sink in. I need a day to assimilate all that God has put in my path during the week. I need time to recoup, think and rethink, muse and wonder, and appreciate it all. It’s my weekly revival.

Job 42:5 “I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.” I need a day with God in the room, regardless of the turn of events…I want to see His face with my own eyes. My antenna needs His signal.

Ps 78:2-4 “I will teach you hidden lessons from our past—stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders.” Sabbath is for storytelling–a day to TELL what God has done and is doing–to share a meal, take a drive or a walk, a time thank Him for living in the middle of the breath of life.

Rev.12:10-11 “For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth–the one who accuses them before our God day and night. And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.” Sabbath is life in the middle of death… it makes me think Kingdom things.

Keeping the Sabbath and keeping it holy, is not about the rules, it’s all about focus. I still begin with coffee, but the rest is up to God…the intent is to eat and drink and love and live, assimilating ‘God things.’ It’s a set-aside day, a holy day–my day to be like Adam on the first day.

Living the Freedom Life, This is Kyle

Einstein

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Episode 87

Are You Good Enough

Episode 86

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Okay, before we get started with today’s episode I want to teach you a little something that’s very important to me in my coaching practice.

Point your head, right at your temple. And repeat after me. “This is my thinker. And my thinker is not my knower.”

Now, point at your heart and repeat after me. “This is my knower. And my knower is not my thinker.”

I know it seems elementary but stay with me. Point back to your head, “My thinker tries to be my knower. But my thinker is only my thinker. It’s not my knower.”

Now point to your heart, or your knower, “My knower doesn’t really need my thinker to know. Even when my thinker wants to be right, I still know.”

Now, that little exercise my friends, will come in handy later. It’s okay, You can rewind so your thinker can catch up.

On today’s topic, Do you ever feel like you’re just not good enough? That life requires more than you have. In many areas of my life, I mean, this is real. I feel like I don’t have what it takes, often. Most of the time.

There have been books written about this, and there’s definitely a lot of podcasts on this topic.

But lately I’ve been thinking about this differently. Because not only am I a Certified Life Coach, I am also a client. There are a lot of days where I feel that I don’t measure up.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast # 86 and today we’re asking the question, are you good enough.