Change is Easier Than 123 | Kyle McMurray Coaching, LLC

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Today’s episode is our 123rd. If you Google 123 you get a ton of Songs (Jess Glynne, Brian McKnight, Jackson 5, Feist

You’ll also find songs on how to teach your little one to count, but some other things you’ll find when you google 123 are Drug Court Dockets, Cross Stitch Patterns to Printer forums, a Blended Tequila, you’ll even find an Aircraft that dispersed Agent Orange when you search 123. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life and this IS episode 123 and today we are discovering that “Change is Easier Than 123”.

Yes, Change is Easier Than 123. I’m sure some of you already know this about me, but I’m intimately familiar with several addiction recovery methods. Now if you want to know about change, there is a crash course on Change. I’ve not only studied this but I’ve also been through some programs and try to implement my knowledge into our coaching practice as often as I can.

No, today is not about addiction recovery, but it does have a lot to do with it. If you’re thinking that this may not apply to you, stick around, you may be surprised.

You see, whenever we have a change in our life, change can be something we want to be better at, it could be something or a habit that we want to break. Or maybe this change finds us. Maybe it’s thrust upon us and as they say, life just happens. Change is inevitable. It’s going to happen. You can guarantee it.

But how we deal with change in our lives when it comes, is … well… let’s just say that for some, we don’t handle it well. We like things to stay the same in some cases and for others, we want change to come so badly that it can drive us to do or try anything.

We want God to give us a sign. We consult our friends and get confirmation, we read books, we watch videos, we listen to podcasts, we even, we even hire coaches to help us through some of these changes.

Our first response is to get better control. To work harder so that we can do better. We believe that by putting more effort into it, that we are somehow smoothing out the wrinkles that change can sometimes, well, most of the time, provide. That’s the thing about change, wrinkles happen, change becomes quite disruptive.

I can tell you with great authority, in most cases, control doesn’t work when it comes to change.

There are some exceptions, but most people’s knee jerk reaction is to get a better control over the situation. So that we can manage it. So that we can change the things we want in the ways that we want it to change.

At the top of this podcast intro, we said some things about this being episode 123 and I talked a little about what you could find if you searched “123”. You see, that’s what we want. We want bullet point steps so that we can follow the instructions and get the results we want. If we do steps 1, 2, and 3 we will get X, Y, and Z. We want that guarantee in life. We want to be able to expect certain things to come, when we take specific steps.

We think of change as a cause and effect modality.

That’s usually not what happens.

Our subconscious mind tends to sabotage it.

Sorry. But it’s true. Our own mind can and does work against us when it comes to change.

Life isn’t like a late night TV commercial. All we want to do is send in our 3 easy payments of $19.95 and we get not one, but two awesome things happen to us when we take the three easy steps and follow the color coded laminated guideline that you can hang on your wall, and it comes complete with an interactive video.

Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. We want to control the change but it doesn’t work that way at all.

And it’s not about control. It’s not about you trying harder to do better. It’s not.

But that should be great news. I know to some it may not sound too great, but it really is.

You see, what I’ve seen work time and time again is something we cannot control.

The very thing that works, the very thing that takes this change that we are facing and turns it into this beautiful opportunity, it turns what seems to be a chaotic situation into this harmonious peaceful thing is not control.

What I have seen work over the years, what I have witnessed in all of the success stories of people going through massive change and being able to conquer old habits and old ways, I’ve watched people walk away from an entire ecosystem of corruption, heartache and death, and all of them had this one thing in common. One thing that made them successful in facing change and it was able to let them glide through the process.

They embraced surrender. They knew what it was to fully surrender. I’m not talking about just giving up and just letting whatever will happen happen. The one thing that all of these success stories have in common is that they were willing to do whatever it took, to fully surrender.

They didn’t trust themselves. They surrendered.

They weren’t able to go back to how they did it in the past. It was no longer an option. They surrendered that pathway by burning the bridge.

They didn’t rely on the way they thought things would work out. They surrendered to the potential of things turning out a new way, with new results and by using new methods of not only doing things, not only using new methods of their approach, not just using new methods of thinking.

No, All of that falls under the category of trying harder.

This is something that can be very defeating about approaching change in your life.

Do you know what happens when we try harder? Enough time passes by and we get tired of trying so hard. We get tired, we get weary. There’s no more “motivation” left, we may get a boost occasionally and get our second wind.

Trying harder to do better just sets us up for failure.

Because 2 things happen when we try harder and get tired.

1 We are only able to try harder, in the way that we know how to try harder. Change introduces a new way of seeing something. Change changes your perspective.

The second thing that happens when we try harder and get tired is that we begin to ask, “What good is it doing…really?”

We lose not only the motivation, but we lose the why behind it; we lose our drive.

Then it begins to tell us about ourselves. Like who we are. “Well, if this happened, then I must be …this kind of person.”

This may be too much for this episode. Maybe we need to discuss this for another time.

Change is about surrender. I have so much more to say about this topic and we don’t have time today.

Change is about surrender. Not giving up. That’s not surrender. Giving up means that you are done trying. It’s going to take some effort on our part. In fact, surrender means that you are determined to move forward, but you are abandoning the way you were applying effort before.

I hope you heard that. Successful Change is about surrender and abandoning the way you were applying effort before.

1 Cor 13:11 I put away childish things.

When change approaches your life, meet it head on, embrace it. But we can’t overpower it because we don’t know everything it presents to us. There are hidden (to us) opportunities for us when change comes. We have to learn what it means to surrender.

Then we will be able to learn, grow, and … you guessed it, Live the Freedom Life.

We are out of time today, thank you so much for listening today. We’ll see you next week right here, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle