Episode 60 The Problem

Show notes:

In the classic novel The Odyssey, Homer writes “Men are so quick to blame the gods: they say that we devise their misery. But they themselves, in their depravity, design their grief greater than the griefs that fate assigns.”

One thing that I enjoy, is to do what I call Spiritual Spelunking. Now that comes in handy with our Biblical Life Coaching Clients. What I mean by Spiritual Spelunking is that when I’m scheduled with a client, there is usually a pattern that unfolds. You see, the model of Counseling, by the way, we are not psychotherapists. But it is from my experience from Counseling that you usually go talk to someone, open up about your problems, and you come to an understanding in dealing with those issues in a new and healthy way. 

Here at Kyle McMurray Coaching, we don’t do that. 

What I’ve learned is that The problem is usually not the problem. And to get to the problem, takes some Spiritual Spelunking. Because of the truth shared in Rom 8:26 Sometimes we don’t even know how to pray. That means we may not even know what the problem is!

This concept of Spiritual Spelunking is found in three verses that I would like to share with you. 

Isaiah 43:2 

Proverbs 20:5

Proverbs 16:22a

As I quoted Homer’s great novel “The Odyssey” in the opener, Whether consciously or subconsciously, we assign some things to our own lives that are obviously more self-destructive than God EVER intended for us. “Men are so quick to blame the gods: they say that we devise their misery. But they themselves, in their depravity, design their grief greater than the griefs that fate assigns.” ~ Homer, The Odyssey

We assign some things to our own lives that are obviously more self-destructive than God EVER intended for us.

That’s not Living the Freedom Life, but you may be surprised to find that most of us don’t really know what Living the Freedom Life means.

So when clients come to our practice and want to book sessions, the problem that they usually present is not the problem. 

Most of us can’t see what’s underneath our own facade and underneath the surface, this protective shell we’ve created for ourselves. When there’s trauma involved, when there is abuse, whether self-inflicted or thrust upon you, that protective shell has served great purpose for a time. But once boundaries are established and safety is the priority, then we’re able to see differently. Then we are able to see the Life Jesus intended for us to live. 

Helping people to discover what is under that facade and uncover what God originally intended for you, that is what we do here. We activate that in people’s lives.

You won’t find a lot of online reviews about our Biblical Life Coaching Practice. I know when I’m searching for something, the first thing I do is look for the reviews. You won’t find that here. We discourage it because of client privilege. We want your identity to be protected.

By State Definition, I am not a Counselor. But I am certified and Ordained to be a Biblical Life Coach. That means that I am also not bound by State Definition. If it’s appropriate, I intend to ask you about things bigger than you and I and where it all fits in the life you want to live.

I know two things: 

  1. I was a horrible person and someone that you wouldn’t want to be around. I have been in a deep pit many times, but I’ve been pulled out and I know the way out, and I am no longer that person. 
  2. I want to help others. I have received a lot of care, support, love, instruction, there have been people that have pulled me aside and God has used them in great ways. 

I am submitting to you, to serve you in some of the same ways. To share with you some things that I couldn’t do for myself. I want to share with you some things that for some reason friends in today’s society, don’t usually share with people. Because if I don’t, I feel as if I am a hypocrite. To receive such things and not return them to others. 

I’ve been given life. I want to help facilitate that for you. 

That’s why we say, we give away what we have, let’s make sure we receive life. 

Chasing Happiness 3

Episode 59


In our series Chasing Happiness we’ve asked the question “What does it mean to be Happy?” and we’ve talked about the age old “mind over matter” theory of Putting on a Happy face. Well, this week I wanted to discuss an aspect of Chasing Happiness that I’ve eluded to all along and I can sum it up in one statement. You’re Listening to Living the Freedom Life Podcast, and we are in the last installment of our series called Chasing Happiness, Episode 59.

58 Chasing Happiness 2

In our series last week we talked about chasing happiness, what does it mean for me to be happy? 

One statement we say around here is:

You will not find happiness while chasing it. It will always be elusive.~ KM Coaching

In our 2nd installment of our series Chasing Happiness today, I want to talk to you about this in a different light. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life Ep 58

Have you ever heard of the movie PollyAnna? Or how about instructions to “Fake it until you make it”? There’s also an old song “Put on a Happy Face” 

Well, this is a common tactic to “outsmart” ourselves into being happy when we don’t feel like it. But how often does that really work…really?

Well, let’s be careful while we look at this common tactic because it’s looks like we are trying harder to be better. I hope you know by now that that is a set up for failure. That’s the direct opposite of being who you are created to be. 

Oh sure, if other people can tell you’re Faking It oh, it can be pretty frustrating to those around you. 

People can tell, it’s a load of hockey.

And for some people, positivity just catapults them in the other direction. 

But before you cancel your order on your starter kit to the Actor’s Guild on Chasing Happiness, there’s something to be said about putting on a happy face and faking it until you make it. 

When the timing is right, it actually works. It really does, but it depends on one thing. What’s the one thing, you ask?

How genuine is our intent?

Just like any actor, a convincing performance requires the actor to genuinely establish a belief that they are the person in the script. I mean, that’s what we’re really talking about here.Because if you’re putting on a happy face or faking it until you make it, you’re acting.

Now, let’s go back to one of our original statements. 

You will not find happiness while chasing it. It will always be elusive.~ KM Coaching

If you spend your energy chasing happiness, Why not use that same energy into choosing to be happy? 

So we’ve come to the conclusion that putting on a happy face Is simply the introduction of making a choice. 

It’s like purchasing a movie poster without actually seeing the movie. The movie poster looks like portrays a scene in the movie, And you may get enough information for it to be intriguing. But you will not be able to say that you’ve seen the movie.

 The same with putting on a happy face. Continue that process and happiness will no longer be elusive. 

Try it. If you find yourself not exactly in a great mood today, try it and let us know. It’s not just a tagline, we want to help people live the freedom life. 

Send us an email, info at Kyle McMurray. Com.

Chasing Happiness 1

Warning: There is a lot of information in this episode. So feel free to rewind, take notes and email us for more questions. info@kylemcmurray.com or https://www.kylemcmurray.com/contact-us/ 

Most people have some things in common and we don’t take the time to realize it. Emotions. How we feel, and the fact that we want to feel better. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, Ep 57 #1 in our series called Chasing Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. Even if there is someone who says they don’t, they have resolved to bitterness and believe that happiness is too elusive. All of us want to be happy.

What does it mean to be happy? I ask my clients that all the time. 

Their answers range from being thin, having more time, better income, different place to live than where I am now…There is no end to the answers here. 

If given a choice, we want to feel happy all the time.

We can’t. Oh the beauty of contrast. 

Most people believe that Happiness is something that comes upon us. 

We refer to emotions that are something outside of us. 

He made me angry, I am sad because that happened. We believe the same thing about happiness. (That’s why we Buy things, how many friends we have or even who we are friends with, car, etc.) 

The advertising industry banks on this one belief and they know how to cater to it.

We have to go back to the basics. What does it mean to be happy? Dare to ask these questions.

Once you are “there” once you feel happy, how long does the feeling of “happy” last? What does it mean, what does it take for you to be happy?

What if someone else has what you think will make you happy? What if they attained this outside source of happiness? “But I don’t have it, so I am unhappy.” They don’t know, they don’t realize, because they have it.

You will not find happiness while chasing it. It will always be elusive.~ KM Coaching

A temporary shot of adrenaline is often confused with Happiness. Just like a football player gets a cortisone shot, it is often confused with healing. It’s temporary. He has the potential to go out there and wound himself more. That may be for another episode, but you get the gist of our emotions bening temporary. None of our emotions last. Why do we expect Happiness to make this drastic change in our lives?

The only reason we desire “things” or “goals” is the belief of how we will feel after we attain it.

True question is “How will we feel after attaining the goal?” We have to look at the honest answer to that question.

What will be different when you achieve the goal? Take some time to honestly look at what will be different.

What will be the same when you achieve the goal? This is something that may be obvious on the surface, but dare to dig deeper on this one. What will be the same, really?

Warning: How we feel can tell us who we are. That is the underlying danger and we often believe it because it plays with our logic. Our mind follows the logical path and come to the conclusion that “this is who I am”, or “I must be this type of person because I’m feeling this….”.

Then we ask….

What do you want to feel? “Well, I want to feel happy

What would provide that for you? 

All of our emotions are created in our thought process and how we see the world around us. 

“LOC”  How we see and perceive the world around us is one of the most important things we can learn and activate in our lives. 

If you want to learn more about how, connect with us. We would love to help in any way we can. That’s what we do. We connect people with who they were made to be. You wouldn’t use a Mazeratti to haul fire wood, would you? No, that’s not what it’s made for. You were made with a purpose in mind. We want to help find that purpose and let God breathe life into it. That is what we mean when we say Living the Freedom Life.

Episode 56 God’s Skin

You probably learned this in Basic Biology Class but what is the biggest organ that you have? And probably the most important one? That’s right, your skin.

Show Notes:

In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 12:27 tells us that We are the body of Christ. It goes on and talks about the different parts of the body and asking the question is the ear more important than the nose or the eye than the mouth. Well, if the skin holds all of this stuff together while we are on this Earth and inside of this meat sack, Scripture says that we are the body of Christ. 

What does this have to do with one another?

Listen more and find out.

Isaiah 58:6-11 

God does not want you to just manage your emotions, He wants you to be totally free from them controlling you. That doesn’t mean that your emotions aren’t there for a reason, they serve a purpose. But our brain is horrible at interpreting our emotions.

Here are seven things that will happen when you start to serve others around you.

  1. It will help you to get your attention off of your own problems. Sometimes we get in such a hole that we can’t see anything else, or find the way out. Helping others works to break this cycle, and opens our vision. It gives perspective, shows that your problems are not insurmountable.
  2. In helping to heal other’s wounds, yours will heal much quicker. The love and compassion you show to others in your time of pain will come back to you in healing and joy.
  3. Helping others will once again reveal your true self worth. It will show you that you do have value and that you can make a difference. We all seek this; We all need it; it was planted in our hearts by God. Remember our tag line “We give away what we have, let’s make sure we receive life.”
  4. The appreciation you will feel from those you help, will bring joy and fulfillment to your heart. Our hearts long for fulfillment and only by serving can we best find it.
  5. You will find that you aren’t the only one with problems. We know this intellectually, but seeing it first hand is healing. Receive healing, as you work to heal others. Do something; get out. Which brings us to number six. 
  6. You’re probably going to get some exercise out of it. Exercise releases endorphins, along with that you will receive healing. God made our body exceptionally good at healing. 
  7. The ‘feeling’ you get from easing someone else’s pain and stress, sometimes called “helper’s high”, can give you a mood boost. When our mood is better, that means our thoughts are too. And some of you veterans know that when we are thinking better our moods are better and then our decisions will be better. 

I hope this will help you today. Remember, In order to sometimes experience God’s skin, you have to go out there and be God’s skin.

Episode 55 Game On!

When I was young, we didn’t play very many games. Like board games or card games. Like at all. None. But now, things are a little different, well, they are a lot different.

54 Double Pandemic

You can say what you want about the pandemic right now. There are people saying that the reporting numbers are false, they are skewed and there are scare tactics being used by the media and the government. All of that may be true, yet none of it could be true. It doesn’t matter, it may affect you, it may not. It’s still a virus. You could be asymptomatic or lose your life, no matter what your age. We can compare it to the flu, past pandemics, or, we can compare it to government control. No matter how you view covid-19 it’s still highly contagious, it is costing lives, and there is a simultaneous, or concurrent, double pandemic going on.