My Critic | Kyle McMurray Coaching, LLC

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After doing 118 Episodes of this audio podcast, you learn a few things along the way. I mean, I’ve had an Audio career most of my life, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’ve learned mostly about myself. I mean, this podcast has taught me A LOT about how differently I write things and outline thoughts and how they actually come across to you, our listeners.

Our main goal is to help people do exactly what the Title implies; We want to help people, we want to help you, Live the Freedom Life that God originally intended you to live. That’s it. That’s the bottom line. But I have to confess, there is a major hurdle that stands in my way and I want to get it out in the open today and share it with you.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is episode 118 and today we are talking about My Critic.

Now, I know some of you who are listening, you know me, personally. Some of you do a wonderful job at letting me know that I am loved. In addition to that, I’ll bet that when you heard about our topic today (we are talking today about My Critic), that you may have gotten a little defensive on my behalf. Well, count to 10 and cool down. Don’t let your imagination get away from you. Thank you, but let’s tap the brakes on that for a moment.

You see, yeah, I’ve done and said some things that I shouldn’t have. I could have chosen to say them in a different way, used a different analogy or example to get a point across. I get it. Not everything we say here has a sugar coating on it. I’ve been informed that I have offended some people by just my accent. To me, I don’t have one, but apparently to others’, well, you get the point.

We’ve talked about the phrase “You find what you focus on” and according to some conversations that we’ve had, well, let’s just say I have been chastened. And they found what they were apparently looking for.

Oh, I’ve been corrected on the usage of scripture, I’ve used the wrong reference, misquoted a LOT of people, taken things out of context, put things into the wrong context, I’ve gotten too emotional, I’ve even cried when it wasn’t appropriate to share some things, I’ve violated privacy and I think I’ve plagiarized more than once.

And these are things (believe it or not) that I face on a daily basis. I’m serious. These are comments that I hear more often than what is probably healthy. And that is why I’m sharing it with YOU today. Because how many of you know that when we bring things into the light, they lose their power of darkness over us? Right?

This is a real struggle and I face it daily.

However, on a side note, This is not, I repeat, this is NOT your cue to shower me with positive comments, or encouragement. There are plenty of you who do that and do it well. That’s not what I’m talking about.

This is also not a call to beat up my critic either. That just broods anger and incites things that don’t need feeding. Don’t give it the energy. It’s not worth it.

You see, I want to share this with you today, because This Critic is ruthless and needs to be stopped. It’s relentless, and just downright mean. I have to fight him every time I reflect on something I’ve done. Yeah, you’ve guessed it. That critic, is me. Well, it’s really not me, but it’s the enemy using my own logic against me. Trying to whisper the what if’s and the you should haves in my ear and then he just lets my own fallible logic take over. That’s when the damage is done.

It gets out of hand quickly. And I wonder if it happens to you too.

You see, I used to say this quite often. “I’m harder on me than you’ll ever be.” because I want to “be better”. That’s where it all starts. I want to improve. All of us have the yearning inside of us to hear “Well done, good and faithful”. Right? So, when I’m critical of myself, it comes from a place of betterment, not meanness. That’s why it’s a lie! That’s why we have to pay attention to the distortion. That’s why we have to, not just familiarize ourselves with the truth, but KNOW the truth. That’s when we find ourselves to be free.

But I’m still “Harder on me than you’ll ever be”. If you do this too, you know what I’m talking about.

But something strange starts to happen when other people discover this about me, and they probably do it to you too. When they realize that I am my own worst critic, then they don’t want to “correct” me. They shy away from it. Mainly because they don’t want to be an accomplice to me being beat up, when I’m beating up myself. They don’t even want to witness it.

They feel as if they are “covering me with grace” by not correcting me or pointing out something.

Now, I get that, but is it grace? Is it really grace by turning a blind eye when I’m over critical? Well, grace may already be there, but I’ve learned that when Grace is already there and you add grace to the grace that’s already there, it becomes a dis-grace. When you add grace to the grace already there, that is a dis-grace. In other words, you could be doing the opposite of what your intentions are by the lack of action, the lack of obedience when the Holy Spirit prompts you.

And that is wrong. Partial obedience is still disobedience.

We need correction. I need correction. We are made to experience community and sometimes that community isn’t always smiles and rainbows and sappy sweet. Sometimes it means that we correct one another. Just like it says in Prov 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”. Yeah, what you may have to say to me may sting because no one really likes to be corrected. But done in the right way, it builds a stronger character and sharpens one another. If you correct me, well two things happen. You learn how to have a loving, honest, and real conversation about what is right and maybe what is wrong. And the other thing that happens is that I become more aware of myself and how I am perceived. I get to be closer and more honest with myself and with you. I gain so much more in those moments.

We need to have an appropriate example of correction in our lives so we know what is appropriate when dealing with our own judgment towards ourselves. Most of us are mean to ourselves. The way we correct ourselves and downgrade our own thinking. I need you to step up, correct me when I’m wrong. So that the next time I face my inner Critic, I can appropriately have an healthy example of how a person is to be corrected. Not the same toxic, degrading language and self-deprivation that I usually face. I need you to correct me. I need a healthy example of what it means to be corrected in love, because when I do it, it’s not because I love me. Be bold. I know it’s scary to correct someone. It’s actually counter culture. Just make sure you are doing it with someone you love. I mean really love. And make sure you give them this same right for them to come to you. When we do that, just sit back and watch the friendship grow.

So I want to free you to correct me. Because when we do open those avenues for correction, we will find that there is now, much more room for us to . . . you guessed it. . . Live the Freedom Life.

Until next week, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.