Keep a File | Kyle McMurray Coaching, LLC

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Remember last week’s episode about what you drew on a piece of paper? Well, it caused a response that I didn’t expect. As usual, I felt like we should talk about it today. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast and this episode is the last of the double digits, we are on Episode number 99 and today’s title is “Keep a File”.

Remember last week when we talked about the 4 way grid on the piece of paper? Well, I received some texts about it. It was a response that I didn’t expect.

I mean, after I thought about it, you would think that people in this day and age would actually get out a piece of paper on a whim? No. Who can quickly find a pen these days? I’m not sure I could. Oh yeah, if I’m sitting at my desk, yeah. But while listening to a podcast, definitely not. I don’t know what I was thinking.

You see, that was the surprise, actually. In response to one specific text, I shared with this person what I normally do when this happens, and I want to share it with you today.

In response to last week’s podcast, this person sent me a picture of their 4-way grid that they drew out . One specific corner of his drawing had my name in the box “Good that Give”. And while I was flattered I told him about one of my secrets. I told him what my plans were for the picture of his grid that he drew. Here’s my secret.

Just because I’m a trained and licensed life coach and we’re able to help quite a few people through our coaching practice, I’m not immune to the things that we talk about. They apply to me too.

I have bad days. Not all of my days are filled with positivity, I can’t always see the outcome in my own life, I get down and sometimes it’s hard to see the very things in my life that I coach others in. Kind of a forest for the trees type of thing. Proof that everyone needs a coach.

So, many of you know that I am a process guy as well. I love to have a process in place. It’s kind of like outsmarting myself, sort of a subconscious thing. We can get into that later. But, what I want to share with you is this.

And, I ask my clients this often. When you get down, when those days don’t turn out so well, don’t you wish you had a bank that you could withdraw some happiness from? Don’t you wish you had an account full of joy and positivity that’s genuine, that you could cash in on when you need it? Well, so do I. And, no, I’m not talking about some religious answer. I’m talking about what is real, what is relational and doable.

Like any account, I have to be intentional about it. I have to go online and open an account first. Yeah, you can get one for free, but the ones that are trustworthy, they come with a cost. There’s an expense. Then, I have to make sure to deposit into that account. Now, I really don’t have to do that, if I don’t ever plan to make a withdrawal from it. I can go around and brag about how many banking accounts I have. But none of them would be worth anything. I would just have a lot of accounts. What makes an account valuable is that I have deposited something into them. That’s why they have value. I know, you’re probably saying, come on Captain Obvious, get to the point.

Well, I took the picture that was sent to me by our listener, and put it in a special file. This special file holds all of the positive comments that are made by other people about me. It’s kind of like an affirmation treasurer chest. But it’s personal and it mainly contains things that other people have said about me. Not things that I find on Facebook that “could” apply to me, but things that directly either contain my name or I know that they are about me.

I’m not looking for approval from others. That’s not what this is about. But here’s what it does. When I have a bad day, I can call myself some pretty ugly names, I think things that will in no way, produce life in me, things that speak about who I am. In times like that, I need to hear a different voice, coming from a different person other than me.

So I go to my file. It’s actually in an obvious place where I can see it. I don’t have to go looking for it. I’m able to open it up, and randomly pick something, and I’ll read it. Several times. Enough times where I can absorb it. Not to just agree with the saying and think that it’s good. I’m talking about believing that what this person is saying to me, about me, is true. It is un-validating my opinion of me in that moment, and validating what others observe in my life.

I know, I get it. Sometimes it’s hard to absorb. but this is a starting point.

In order for us to Live the Freedom Life, we have to be able to identify the toxic internal conversations that we have with ourselves. That isn’t an innate skill. We don’t automatically have that skill. We have to develop it. We have to learn how to identify how we talk to ourselves. Sometimes we don’t recognize that. This is why I have my special file. This is also why I consistently make deposits into my file. This way, I know where I can go when I need to disrupt that internal conversation.

This is why we are a community. This is why we need each other. This is why we produce this podcast. To provide you life tools, to give you free coaching, to give you a safe place.

That’s why we do this.

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle