Podcast Page | Kyle McMurray Coaching, LLC

Keep a File

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:56 — 11.5MB)

Remember last week’s episode about what you drew on a piece of paper? Well, it caused a response that I didn’t expect. As usual, I felt like we should talk about it today. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast and this episode is the last of the double digits, we are on Episode number 99 and today’s title is “Keep a File”.

Remember last week when we talked about the 4 way grid on the piece of paper? Well, I received some texts about it. It was a response that I didn’t expect.

I mean, after I thought about it, you would think that people in this day and age would actually get out a piece of paper on a whim? No. Who can quickly find a pen these days? I’m not sure I could. Oh yeah, if I’m sitting at my desk, yeah. But while listening to a podcast, definitely not. I don’t know what I was thinking.

You see, that was the surprise, actually. In response to one specific text, I shared with this person what I normally do when this happens, and I want to share it with you today.

In response to last week’s podcast, this person sent me a picture of their 4-way grid that they drew out . One specific corner of his drawing had my name in the box “Good that Give”. And while I was flattered I told him about one of my secrets. I told him what my plans were for the picture of his grid that he drew. Here’s my secret.

Just because I’m a trained and licensed life coach and we’re able to help quite a few people through our coaching practice, I’m not immune to the things that we talk about. They apply to me too.

I have bad days. Not all of my days are filled with positivity, I can’t always see the outcome in my own life, I get down and sometimes it’s hard to see the very things in my life that I coach others in. Kind of a forest for the trees type of thing. Proof that everyone needs a coach.

So, many of you know that I am a process guy as well. I love to have a process in place. It’s kind of like outsmarting myself, sort of a subconscious thing. We can get into that later. But, what I want to share with you is this.

And, I ask my clients this often. When you get down, when those days don’t turn out so well, don’t you wish you had a bank that you could withdraw some happiness from? Don’t you wish you had an account full of joy and positivity that’s genuine, that you could cash in on when you need it? Well, so do I. And, no, I’m not talking about some religious answer. I’m talking about what is real, what is relational and doable.

Like any account, I have to be intentional about it. I have to go online and open an account first. Yeah, you can get one for free, but the ones that are trustworthy, they come with a cost. There’s an expense. Then, I have to make sure to deposit into that account. Now, I really don’t have to do that, if I don’t ever plan to make a withdrawal from it. I can go around and brag about how many banking accounts I have. But none of them would be worth anything. I would just have a lot of accounts. What makes an account valuable is that I have deposited something into them. That’s why they have value. I know, you’re probably saying, come on Captain Obvious, get to the point.

Well, I took the picture that was sent to me by our listener, and put it in a special file. This special file holds all of the positive comments that are made by other people about me. It’s kind of like an affirmation treasurer chest. But it’s personal and it mainly contains things that other people have said about me. Not things that I find on Facebook that “could” apply to me, but things that directly either contain my name or I know that they are about me.

I’m not looking for approval from others. That’s not what this is about. But here’s what it does. When I have a bad day, I can call myself some pretty ugly names, I think things that will in no way, produce life in me, things that speak about who I am. In times like that, I need to hear a different voice, coming from a different person other than me.

So I go to my file. It’s actually in an obvious place where I can see it. I don’t have to go looking for it. I’m able to open it up, and randomly pick something, and I’ll read it. Several times. Enough times where I can absorb it. Not to just agree with the saying and think that it’s good. I’m talking about believing that what this person is saying to me, about me, is true. It is un-validating my opinion of me in that moment, and validating what others observe in my life.

I know, I get it. Sometimes it’s hard to absorb. but this is a starting point.

In order for us to Live the Freedom Life, we have to be able to identify the toxic internal conversations that we have with ourselves. That isn’t an innate skill. We don’t automatically have that skill. We have to develop it. We have to learn how to identify how we talk to ourselves. Sometimes we don’t recognize that. This is why I have my special file. This is also why I consistently make deposits into my file. This way, I know where I can go when I need to disrupt that internal conversation.

This is why we are a community. This is why we need each other. This is why we produce this podcast. To provide you life tools, to give you free coaching, to give you a safe place.

That’s why we do this.

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

There are 4

Episode 98

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:05 — 8.1MB)

If you’ve ever attended one of our classes or had very many coaching sessions, you’ve heard me say that “People only fall into 2 categories; people that either bring me closer to Jesus, or the other ones”.

Well, as any good coach would say, “Everyone needs a coach”. And I’m not immune to that statement. I’m included in “everyone”. Well, MY coach told me about 4 categories of people. I want to share them with you today. So, get a piece of paper and something to write with. Yeah, we are going analog today. Get ready! It doesn’t have to be fancy, just a yellow sticky note is all. Maybe a sharpie. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life Podcast, this is episode 98 and today, I’m telling you, “There Are 4”.

Handling the Truth

Episode 97

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:06 — 12.5MB)

Some people can’t handle the truth about themselves or others.

Some of you know me well. Through the years, you’ve watched me grow, walked with me, encouraged me, sharpened me, there’ve been some correction and a few swift kick in the pants.

Some of you know me through our Coaching practice, and as you know, as candid as I am and as open as I am about my life, we’ve grown to know each other pretty well in a short amount of time.

There are some of you who listen to this podcast and don’t know me at all, . . . yet.

And that’s okay. In fact, that’s why we produce this podcast, not only for me to open up, to share. You get to know me and then, I get to know you; for us to sharpen each other.

I love getting to know new people. But there is a risk involved in that.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast. This is Ep 97 and today we are talking about Handling the Truth

If you have reached a certain age, then you already have a movie quote in your head from “A Few Good Men” saying “You can’t handle the truth” You can watch the scene to give you context, I have a link in the show notes for you.

But that dialog is raw, and it addresses certain facts about the exposure of certain costs, attached to the freedom we have available to us.

One simply can’t sing the praises of freedom or “Live the Freedom Life” unless they have endured the threat of freedom, survived its absence, defended its existence, or faught to attain it. Freedom has a cost. Usually, it is not cheap.

Once you’ve walked through this, you’re not easily one to back down.

You tend to say what you feel needs to be said. Unashamed.

This topic is near to me in several ways.

Once you go, you know.

There is a certain amount of fluff that you are no longer willing to dance around and play with. You want to DO life, not play it.

That boldness is not something I’ve attained. It’s something that has been downloaded in me. It showed up and now, I just direct the output, express it in certain avenues.

One thing that I’ve learned is when it comes to Sharing Truth,some people can’t handle the truth, the real truth.

The real truth that people are messed up to unfathomable proportions and damage other people. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement “Hurt people, hurt people.”

God’s forgiveness and healing is unfathomable as well

2 areas that I want to talk about today.

1 Most therapy deals with working through trauma

Things that happen to people, things that are done TO them, either through others or just life events. Things happen and sometimes life is traumatic.

The pain of trauma can be soul shattering and it seems impossible to recover from.

I know quite a few therapists that are highly skilled in working with trauma

While working through some of those things, Coaching can help set and reach goals.

If you have experienced true trauma, please let someone lead you through a process of healing

I will say that if your trauma has been soul shattering, the only One who can heal that, is Jesus.

Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls our lives.

That truth is so powerful, that some people “can’t handle the truth”. It’s too much for them to bear. They are unable to see or unwilling to look at the potential of healing. They are crushed under the wreckage.

Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls our lives. Healing is available to you. Reach out to us. Just please let us know. If Kyle McMurray Coaching cannot help directly, we know people who can.

2 areas that I want to talk about today.

1st Real Truth that people are messed up to unfathomable proportions and they damage other people, like trauma.

2nd Real Truth is that people mess up to unfathomable proportions. People make mistakes and bad choices. Some people (as messed up as we are) are just out there, trying to do the best we can do, and still making horrible, messed up choices that cause other people trauma. We may not even be aware of it. We may be aware of it later but still, just trying to do the best that we can do, with what we have.

See, when you’ve messed up to unfathomable proportions, deep down, you know it. You know that you’ve done some horrible things. And you are probably unforgiving of yourself.

God’s forgiveness and redemption is unfathomable as well. Some people “can’t handle the truth”. Some people have an intimate understanding of unforgiveness toward themselves because they are the one who inflicted trauma.

No matter what you have done, no matter what type of trauma you have caused,God’s forgiveness and redemption is deeper. It’s bigger. It’s thicker and stronger. God’s love for YOU is greater than what you have done.

We get upset when other people fail to recognise that, but what happens when WE fail to recognise that?

It’s evidence that we can’t handle the truth. Sometimes it’s too much to bear. It’s overwhelming. We don’t know what to do with that amount of weight.

If you are experiencing that amount of weight, that amount of doubt in the truth, if you feel that you just can’t handle that amount of goodness that is said about you, that amount of truth, please let us know.

There is instant chat on our site, you can reach out to us on all social media, however you want to communicate to us, we are here. We want to help.

I can tell you, it’s not easy, Handling the truth. But it is a part of Living the Freedom Life. In fact, it’s a pretty big part of it. We are called to find out the truth, to know the truth. (John 8:32)When we know the truth, what will it do? That’s right!

Set

Free!

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.

Redemption

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:41 — 12.1MB)

Episode 96

rpyqwWnDitWFcg92Uvkk

Did you ever see the bottom of an old glass bottle or can? You could get yourself a shiny nickel if you turned it back in. To a 5 year old, that’s like free money! And that is a great example of redeeming something. You turn in something that is used and you get something in return that has value!

Redemption is an important concept to understand as a follower of Christ, but if we only look at it through “Coke Bottle lenses”, we may be setting ourselves up for a great disappointment if we are not careful. You are listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast and today we are talking about Redemption.

Redemption is only a great concept until you experience it. It’s personal. It’s one of the most personal things a human can experience. It seems like the more a person has experienced failure in their life, the more important and personal redemption is. It seems like the longer a person has believed that they are a failure, the sweeter the redemption is. The deeper it feels.

The problem with that is that it’s very difficult for a person to truly experience it. I really hope this doesn’t resonate with you, because if it does, that means that you have experienced it too. I hope you haven’t.

But, redemption is rare. Rare, as in, it is precious, it’s valuable. And when you feel it, it will be the most personal thing; you will hold onto it for the rest of your days. The reason platinum is valuable is that you can’t just find it anywhere. It’s rare, not everyone has it, that’s why it has value.

You see, some people have deeply felt rejection. Not just wanting to be picked for the team rejection, not just the cool kid not wanting to be your friend kind of rejection. I’m talking about rejection that comes from thinking that you “don’t measure up to everyone else” rejection. Internal rejection. That you don’t quite have “a place where you fit in” kind of rejection. You “don’t know what to do in life” kind of rejection. That amount of internal rejection runs deep because it’s your own logic confirming that rejection.

This can’t be cured by some pep-talk. This isn’t turned around by having coffee and a good conversation. Even listening to a podcast.

Early in my spiritual walk, I learned that “The only cure for rejection is acceptance.”

The only cure for rejection is acceptance.

I’ve spent years in the music industry. In recording studios sitting behind an audio console bigger than the vehicle you drive type of studios. And then, I had my personal series of tragic internal rejection. It took me down a road that few recover from, and I’m grateful now, that I survived.

But redemption is elusive. It’s not always readily seen and obvious. The longer it evades, I’ve noticed that some people get bitter because of that. Deep down we expect redemption when we go to church services, read the bible and talk to pastors…even listen to podcasts. We expect redemption to find us in our ditch, discarded, ready to pick us up and turn us into the recycling center to be washed, cleaned, re-created into something new, exciting, refreshed and full of life.

You see, redemption knows where we were found. It remembers being discarded and thrown away, cast aside.

Why is it so rare?

Because we already think we know what it’s supposed to look like. We already have an image or a rendition of how things are supposed to be redeemed. It’s like we already know its worth, so we only see redemption in the frame of what we see that has worth to us, now.

You see, it is only our definition of how we currently see worth. Remember when you found a can that was thrown away and it said that you could get five cents for it? That excitement was because you were 5 years old and had a value system of a five year old. Today, I’m not sure if you would take the time for five cents. You have a different value system now.

When you feel redemption, when you experience true redemption, it will have a value that is so personal that there is no way that someone could have known the value it has, but you.

That is what God wants for you. He wants you to stop settling for your picture of redemption and trust in Him and His way. And the only way to do that, is to get to know Him. He already knows you. Get to know Him. YOu will be amazed at His redemption that He has planned for you. It is so much sweeter, more personal, and fuller than you can ever imagine.

A lot of times when we are “let down” or disappointed by God is when we have expectations of what He will do. A lot of times we misinterpret His promises. We read into His word according to our definition of how we currently see worth. And usually, His economy is worth so much more to us because it’s personal.

He wants you to encounter acceptance.

He wants redemption for you.

He wants you to be able to Live the Freedom Life.

And if so, we would like to help guide that. We would like to help in any way we can. Reach out to us. We would love to hear from you.

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.

Love Struck

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:47 — 11.2MB)

Episode 95

Today is an extremely special day in the McMurray household. There will be consequences for me later, but I just can’t help myself. I have a story to tell. It is a foundational part of my personal Freedom Journey and I want to share it with you today. It has a lot to do with this song. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life Podcast and this is Ep 95, Love Struck.

This week in history poses quite a supposed coincidence of two separate events that may have something to do with one another.

The year was 1945 and WW2 ended on May 6th by Germany surrendering to the Allied forces. The Axis had fallen. On an entirely different continent, here in the U.S. on the very same day, Chuck Norris was born.

Causation or Coincidence? I will let you be the judge of that.

Is it a history lesson or just a bad Dad joke that’s today’s topic? No. Neither. Something way more important to me.

You see, several years ago, I was coming out of a life shattering season in my life. One where few recover from. In that pit of life, I found Jesus. Yes! I actually found Him. I mean, He was there the entire time, I just didn’t, I couldn’t, and I refused to see Him. I spent a life thus far, not being able to see, I was blind…and then all of a sudden, I could see Him!

Now it wasn’t a light flashing, there wasn’t thunder clapping and a strike of lightning, so to speak. The change wasn’t sudden…it was more of a slooooope. It took a while for the rest of me to catch up to what He had changed in my heart. I was made new.

But I could tell I was missing something. Something that everyone was talking about. In fact, I was talking about it a couple of weeks ago. Love.

Yeah, I felt God’s love, I knew that Jesus is in my heart, living in me, I was dead, and now He gave me life, a new life. That was clear not only to me but especially to those who knew me. But deep inside, I was getting to the point that I knew I needed something. That something that was missing, was growing more and more, it held more weight than ever before. It had been there before, but even THAT was different now.

You see, I needed “Jesus with skin on”. I needed some human interaction, to give me more tangible evidence.

Then, there came a day where The Lord said, “Yeah, here you go.” As He guides me in my path through life, one day, He was having me take out the trash in a recording studio I was working in. And then I saw her. I met Tammy.

And THAT is when The Lord began loving on me in a way I had never experienced before. My life’s song began to change and really take shape, and have meaning.

The bad in me (it wouldn’t take long to find a LOT of bad) but the bad in me, not only does she choose not to focus on, but she chooses love, which is enough to align me back to where I need to be.

God shows me how He loves me in so many ways through her. She is my living translation of the Bible. She is the living word to me. She is Jesus with skin on. The voice of the Holy Spirit sounds a lot like my wife.

And today, a day which she may not be too happy with me for informing you about, is her birthday.

If you have had The Lord show YOU love by guiding your path to know her, please celebrate with me on her birthday today.

The Lord has used her in amazing ways to introduce Himself to me deeper.

I’ve learned that she hears His voice quicker than I do.

I’ve learned that she receives guidance from His hand easier than I do.

I’ve learned that she senses Him to be nearer and in the room more suddenly than I do.

I’ve learned that she is quicker to ignore herself and think of others than I am.

I’ve learned that she forgets more completely when she is offended than I do.

I’ve learned that she follows her leader more obediently than I do.

Not only teaching me about my relationship with the Trinity of God, but how to lead, how to be a Husband, how to be a Father and how to guide others.

The Lord has given me much more than “a helpmate” in life when He joined me and Tammy.

Live the Freedom Life? Yes, I do. Firmly. And it’s because God loves me enough to tenderize my heart through the struggle of a relationship that I would die for.

If you are fighting back tears like I am in this moment, Go tell that someone you love them.

Don’t wait until their birthday.

Grow your relationship everyday.

Don’t wait until the calendar tells you to.

This is a crucial Cornerstone in Living the Freedom Life.

Thank you for letting me take this episode to celebrate her.

“Bebe, Happy birthday, Me is You”.

Living the Freedom Life, This is Kyle

Half What?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:44 — 9.6MB)

Episode 94

Our perspective on things and the world around us is crucial. The way we see things sets the stage on how we make choices. Our choices are what assist in what we call “Life navigation”. Our choices steer us in one direction or another. So, whether we see the glass as half full or half empty is a pretty big deal. You would think.

Well, I’ve never been accused as being normal. So, let me challenge you to look at this a little differently today. And it might change the way you see your day to day life. Because that is what we are about. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast, and today we are talking about the Glass being Half What.

This statement is usually used as a litmus test to reveal a person’s worldview. A worldview is a person’s philosophy of life or how they perceive and conceive the world around them. That worldview shapes how they see things, how they think and how they react or respond to the world around them. You’ve heard me say this before but “The way we see things shapes everything that follows”.

So the question “Do you see the glass half full or half empty?” is a question that can answer a lot about a person’s perspective on a certain situation and the way we perceive the world around us. It also can reveal a moment of opportunity or trouble. But not every “situation” has such a potentially polarized view. Not every situation has two sides. Sometimes they have more than that. In fact, this “philosophy” flies in the face against following Christ and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Half empty/Full Link

It’s time to stop thinking about whether the glass is half full or empty. What we need to remember is the glass is refillable. Daily.

Now as much as I want to, I can’t change the fact that some days, some situations are not going to be all that great. They are not going to be “Half Full”. Sometimes the glass is half empty and like the infamous Walter Cronkite would say, “and that is the way it is”.

On the other hand, there are some days that are completely awesome and worth celebrating. And they are definitely “Half Full”.

But what that does, is it conditions us or trains us into being dependent on our surroundings for happiness, comfort, and peace. While we are listening to a podcast, it’s easy to know that, but in those crucial milliseconds it takes to react, everything is different.

So, what’s the solution? Well, I’m glad you asked.

We are to realize that the glass is refillable. In other words, we need to see that “this too shall pass”. That the circumstances are temporary and will not last. It will pass. Just like our emotions. Any emotion will only last about 20-60 min. Past that, it is our character, who we are at our core that will come to the surface.

To remedy that, we need to pour into ourselves, so to speak, every day. So we are not anchored in what is in our glass. It doesn’t dictate how we interact.

Each day, the bible tells us that we should be poured into.

Psalm 9:10, Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Lamentations 3:25, The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

Proverbs 8:17, I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

Hebrews 11:6, And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

By doing this, we are “the vessels” being poured into each day. If we say that we trust and He supplies our every need, then we need to be at a place where we know that whatever IS in our glass, it’s enough.

When we pour out what is in our glass to serve others, to serve the Kingdom of God, then; that requires us to go back and ask Him to fill us again. Daily. That is how it worked in the Garden. Whether you are talking about the Garden where Jesus was asking the Father, or Adam and Eve.

That’s the model, and that’s the original design. That,…is Living the Freedom Life.

Remember, we give away what we have, Let’s make sure we receive life. Daily.

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

Love and Fear

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:35 — 11.3MB)

Episode 93

Even if you’ve never cracked open a Bible in your life, you’ve probably heard the scripture in 1 John 4 that tells us “God is Love”. Well, to put it bluntly, we’ve lost sight of that. We have forgotten it. We’ve watered this section of scripture down so much, that it has become dangerous, spiritual malnutrition, to the point that we may not know what Love is.

Our view of what Love is has become so delicate and conditional. Love is meant to be powerful, robust, strong and a powerful transforming force. I don’t believe most people get to experience that. They wind up truly identifying with this song.

We are so desperate to experience this, we may be confusing it with something else. Something much different. Something drastically opposite of what it really is and meant to be. Fear.

When I say it like that, it seems outlandish. Well, maybe not.

You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life podcast and this is episode number 93. Today we’re talkin about Love and Fear.

I’m going to start out by just simply reading some instructions for us all.

7 Let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love, does not know God, because God is love.

9 In this, the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this, is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So, we have come to know and to believe the love, that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot[a] love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. Retrieved link

Here are some examples of Love that I’ve experienced and what I try to give to others.

Love is so deeply invested in the well-being of others, it doesn’t hesitate to do hard things and explain the motivation.

Love is determined to see someone differently than they see themselves, especially when their own view is less than their created design.

Love doesn’t tolerate harmful beliefs or behaviors, it doesn’t back down or is fearful of offense, and calls us up to our intended greatness

Love refuses to turn a Blind Eye in order to enable dysfunction.

Love will do what is right and healthy even when it costs in other arenas.

Here is how a friend of mine explains our confusion of Love and Fear:

Sheltering or protecting people from hurt feelings, by allowing self-harm or their harmful beliefs, is not love, it’s fear.

Protecting people from offense by compromising or fabricating a truth, is not love, it’s fear.

Protecting people from hard experiences by expecting the circumstances to change instead of expecting people to mature is not love, it’s fear. And that cripples their healthy emotional development and maturity. This is a huge contributor to why we have so many man/childs today.

We are so fearful because we have the belief that we are protecting people by preventing offense, correction, and applying discipline in their life to spur on maturity. This isn’t conforming, it is being responsible and a productive member of society, not just when people are looking, this is about character. Character is who a person is when there is no accountability and no one is looking. No wonder we are so fearful. And we’ve called it protecting others.

Knowing the difference between these two may seem like it’s circumstantial to be black and white. It’s not. But we have watered down what love is to the point where we don’t know what it is, we doubt how to show it, and we don’t trust it. All of which are a lie that we’ve fallen for.

It’s time.

It’s time to refamiliarize ourselves with the truth of what Love is, how it is expressed, how to receive it, and how to give it to others.

THIS is the meaning behind our tag line “We give away what we have, let’s make sure we receive life”.

Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle