Stir the Pot

Have you ever cooked something in a pot? Yeah, I think that’s safe for me to assume, but you never really know. If you’ve ever cooked something in a pot and let it sit on the stove for any amount of time, what do you need to do on occasion? Right, you stick a spoon or ladle or something in there and give it a good stir. I mean, there’s a few reasons you need to do that and we’ll talk about them today on Living the Freedom Life. This is Episode 106 and today we need to Stir the Pot.

Okay, so a couple of different things I want to point out about stirring the pot here.

And yes, I want you to take this as an analogy to your life. Step back and observe your life and see how this has applied to your life timeline. 

You go on Google and compare a couple of recipes on which one is the best, or you may dive into the kitchen drawer and find your ‘ol Aunt Flossy’s recipe that she hand wrote with a pencil that Uncle Harv made himself from a tree out on the back forty. That’s more true than you may be aware.

Your next step is to gather all of your ingredients. In life, we gather our ingredients by what we learn. Not just classes we take, but life lessons and experiences. Keep in mind that “how” we decide to take in those experiences matters quite a bit too if you remember from our last episode, Total Recall at a Bar.

Then we prepare the ingredients. Some may need to be chopped up. Others may need a slice, or diced up into smaller bits. 

You may need other tools to prepare, like a blender, some type of fancy chopper to make things easier, or even something as simple as a jar opener, if you need to pour something in. But every ingredient isn’t going to be “made ready”. So there’s some preparation that needs to take place. 

Just in life, all of our knowledge isn’t going to be boxed up and ready “as is” to be applied in every situation. Knowledge is meant to be used with our uniqueness blended in. 

I have my favorite knife that I use in the kitchen. I have a cutting board that I use for certain things rather than others. Because I have a preference. Therefore it has a little bit of “me” in even the preparation of the ingredients. 

Now that everything is in the pot, it’s time to turn up the heat and start cooking. Get on with life and living it. There’s a reason we called this Podcast Living the Freedom Life.

But occasionally, and this is really what I want to talk to about today, is when things on the surface seem to be going just fine, or we want to show everyone that on the surface, everything seems fine…something very different could be going on at the bottom; in the area that is getting most of the heat. As we talked about in the intro, if you leave it on the heat long enough, There will come a point where it will be necessary to give everything a good stir. Sometimes, it’s a healthy thing to stir the pot, to mix it up a bit, to disrupt things where everything is getting a more even amount of heat.  

When that happens in life, it can feel like a disruption, it can feel like a challenge, or like the old timers would say “various trials and tribulations”. James 1:2

When our pot gets stirred, it can feel like God is just some kid on a bright, sunny day with a magnifying glass and using it to intensify the sun’s heat on your ant mound and just waiting. Well, I can tell you from my life experience, He’s not like that. I know it may feel that way sometimes, but I assure you, God is quite the opposite. 

2 things that I want to point out, well, 2 different viewpoints that I want to call to your attention:

1.You see, there is a myth out there about the joy of the lord. Nehemiah 8:10  “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Read the context of that scripture. We don’t have time today but I will have a link for you in the show notes. Joy doesn’t mean that things will be smooth but that is the expectation. This scripture, this promise from the Almighty Himself, means that you will have strength DURING the time when you need strength. The answer, look to Him. Hmmmm, that will probably be a time where your pot is being stirred. 

2.This is something that is dangerous when we have our pot stirred. The second thing I want to point out to you today is explained when we read about Job’s life, we often confuse the events that happened to him with this, God didn’t DO those things, He LET them happen, but He didn’t DO them. And the thing that we are confused about is that we think by letting them happen, in other words, by permission, or the fact that God didn’t stop it from happening, that He took action. That His inaction was in fact an action. NO. That’s like saying all rednecks from Tennessee don’t have all their teeth. Well, I have a full head of teeth and you know the rest. 

God doesn’t DO those things, He isn’t evil. He is Love. God is Love. Evil wants you to question God and His plan. That’s the same trick that has been used on us since the beginning. Evil wants you to question God and His plan. 

See, it’s a healthy thing for the pot to be stirred. It’s a necessity. WHy? If not, there will be (at first) a layer that will be burned. Then, eventually the whole thing will be ruined. 

It’s a requirement for growth. 

We are not made to be stagnant. 

We are made to Live the Freedom Life. 

Total Recall at a Bar

We’ve recently talked about vacation and usually when you return, people, friends, and co-workers usually ask “Did you have a good vacation?”, “What did you do?”, “Where did you go?”. I’ve been back just long enough for me to observe something about myself… You see, I try to implement this stuff we talk about in my life. This isn’t just a situation where I spew how you should live your life, I have things to learn too. I’m observing how I answer those questions and I want to share those with you today. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is Episode 105 and today we are talking about Total Recall at a Bar.

So there we were, on vacation, at a bar. Yeah, it may sound like the intro to a joke, well, okay, it is, but it really happened. 

So, there we were, on vacation, at a simi-locally-famous bar and restaurant. Inside, the place was a little busy. There was a wait time to be seated. So after putting our name on the list, we decided to go to the side entrance to where they had some picnic tables and lounge chairs set up in the sand, they had a cool little stage with a PA, there were people that cruised up to the shore of the bay in their boats, and where the restaurant dock was to listen and there were people just enjoying the music and playing in the sand, and in the water, and just having a great time. The guy’s set list was really good and he was able to play a couple of current requests on the charts and he still knew some old stuff. 

You know, there is nothing like a place like that and having just a mediocre musician, but this guy was really a decent player. Anyway, we were really enjoying the evening. The sun was going down on the water, boats were going by, some light waves were coming in from the bay, it was picturesque. 

Now, I’m really not rubbing your nose in the fact that we had a great vacation. What I’m doing is giving you a personal perspective on an event. Well, part of the event. The part of the event that I WANT to tell you about. You see, there is a whole other side of this story, a continuation rather, at this same place. But I’m choosing to remember this portion of what happened rather than what I’m about to tell you. 

 You see, we were a little bummed when we received the text that our table was ready. That meant we had to go inside and be civil. Well, little did I know, that was about to be tested. 

We were seated and so far, so good. It didn’t “feel” crowded. There were a lot of people there, don’t get me wrong, but they did a good job at arranging the tables in such a way that you still felt connected to the outside where all the fun was happening. (BTW, there wasn’t any dining outside, that’s the only way we could get a table.)

Oh, one little detail I forgot to mention to you. Inside, it was loud. . .

Okay, it was really loud. 

I’m not talking about the PA and the music. That would’ve been so much better.

Allright, I’ll get honest. Let’s put it this way. It was so loud…(how loud was it) It was so loud that there was a Little League Baseball tournament that was probably the largest in the western hemisphere going on, and it was obvious to the entire populous, that the team, possibly team(s) plural, of 9 year old boys that were inside the restaurant, won their games for that day and they were celebrating. May I add that it was also obvious, well, hopefully obvious that the young, pre-teen boys were celebrating away from their parents. Like, without supervision or ability to order food, or not have sword fights with the butter knives, or chase each other while trying to pop each other with the cloth napkins, or. . . you get the picture. 

Wouldn’t you know it, all of a sudden, there came a thunderstorm. It was fast. I mean this thing popped up quicker than it took little Garrett to throw an olive across the room into Connor’s mouth. This thing was fast. Before we knew it, the waitstaff was pulling down the plastic covers to cover the patio and scurrying to protect everything and everyone from getting wet. It started raining fast and heavy. 

Well, I’m no acoustician, but because we were now in an enclosed area, and after the initial shock was over, those boys just got even louder than before. 

After our meal, when we were paying our check, I felt my chest get tight. I remembered thinking, I didn’t have anything spicy. What’s going on? My chest started to hurt. Like my shoulders were moving in, towards the middle of my torso. It felt as if the chunky bat boy in the corner was sitting on top of me. I couldn’t breathe, I started to get light headed and the room was starting to spin. 

I remember thinking “Hey, I’m a Certified Life Coach, I’m having some kind of panic attack. I know what to do.” That’s when I felt my legs lock. It was like I was strapped down to the chair. It was awful. 

In a spurt of energy, I looked at my wife and said “I’ll go get the car!” She knew something was wrong. I got myself outside and walked a few hundred yards to the car. I got inside and started to do some grounding exercises. Pretty soon, it was all over. Like nothing ever happened. Everything was back to normal. 

I picked everyone up and we took off to enjoy our next adventure with no problems at all. 

Here is what I learned:

  1. Anxiety is personal and 
  2. you don’t have to have a history of it, to have an attack. Maybe that’s two things in one.  
  3. The tools WORK. Use them. 
  4. If anyone ever tells you to just tough it out, they have no clue of what they are talking about. They aren’t able to see outside of their own experiences. 

 The main thing I learned about this was after we returned home. 

We were floating in the pool after work and we were remembering that evening when we were sitting in those padded lounge chairs, sipping and singing along. It brought smiles to our faces. 

Then, Tammy reminded me of the other half of the experience. I completely forgot about that. Like, I was actively choosing not to remember it in that way. 

Then the thought occurred to me, “I wonder if we took that approach on other events in our life?”

How different would it be?

How much easier would forgiveness be?

How much more, would we be willing to try new and different things?

How much more adventurous would our lives be?

How much deeper we could be Living the Freedom Life?

Questions to contemplate. 

It depends on how we “see” the situation. There is much more to talk about this topic but we are out of time today. 

If you want to hear more, reach out to us. 

Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

Your Steeple

I remember as a kid, when we would go to my Grandparents, there was a certain hill that we would top and I could see in the distance, the town church steeple. You could see it for what seemed to be miles around. Once we went through town, I would always know that we were getting close. You could see that steeple before anything else. 

My Grand Dad would tell me that back when settlers would move to a new town being developed, they would instantly know where the hub of that town was. It was the pinnacle, the main influence and the genesis of everything in that town. Oh sure, there may have been a courthouse, but the church steeple was the tallest thing in the town. It was the first thing you saw. 

Every culture has a key hub. There is always a central social common ground that gravitates certain birds of a feather, where they can flock together (as the saying goes). Today I would like to discuss with you the importance of that social hub and remember, we are not talking about religion. We are talking about your influence today on Living the Freedom Life. This is Episode 104 and we are talking today about Your Steeple.

I’m from the South and we call it a Steeple. It’s called a lot of other things like Spire, tower, or Belfry, You know what I’m talking about here. You don’t have to be from a small town to know what a steeple is. In fact, now that I think about it, you may not know. …and that’s okay, the Church where we attend doesn’t even have a steeple. It’s the tall pointy thing that is on top of a Church, pointing its way to Heaven. Nowadays it’s put to use by mounting cell phone antennas on it. It’s a good income for the church.  I’m getting off track here.

The original meaning of a Steeple is to show everyone around, where the pinnacle of the town is. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by John Maxwell, you’ve heard me say this before, he says “You are the culmination of the top 5 things that influence you. If you don’t determine what those are, the enemy will.

You see, a Steeple was a way for the town to put a stake in the ground and say “This is what influences us, this is where our central, our nucleus, our place from which everything else flows from, this is the point of where the influence comes from, here is where it is. It’s a bold statement, and today, it’s turning out to be a courageous one. 

Our culture today is a sea of offense and I hear a lot of people saying that we need to stand up, someone has to stand up, the atrocity must stop.  

Now, no matter what you see as the atrocity, (BTW, there are plenty to go around, you can just pick one) but by all the horrible things that are going on right now, what kind of solutions are you hearing?

Pointing out a problem is only half of the equation. It’s easy to point out a problem. Anyone can do that. There is a big difference between talking about the problem and talking about solutions. What about solutions?

That’s where most people stop dead in their tracks, they get sheepish. They say “Well, I’m not sure what the solution is but there is definitely a problem.” Good for you, what are you going to do about it?

Maybe the world is just waiting for you to get fed up with it to the point of action, to the point of studying, searching and finding, or rallying, or even creating a solution. I may just be talking to the next great solution finder here. 

See, we’ve lost sight of what The Town Steeple means. What I see, is that by other buildings towering over one another, by the next business conglomerate building another skyscraper to amazing heights, shadowing over the original central hub of society, we have put business and work, and responsibility, and status, and how many likes and friends we have, how many times we can get a viral video posted, or even a podcast episode shared, or wear just the right clothes, say just the right things to the right people so that we can get just a little further ahead in the race that WE are personally running in our lives, between our ears, and in our hearts, with our desire and drive…when all the while, we have lost sight of The Steeple.  

Now, what in the world do I mean by the Steeple?

Most people don’t live their life to a degree of expression. What I mean by that is they don’t live their life as an expression of who they are. We’ve lost what that means. We’ve also lost the knowledge of HOW to do that. 

Most people go through life, reacting and responding to life as it happens. They say “Well, this happened so I guess I need to do that.” And that’s how they live life. 

It’s not really life as it was intended, that’s just a series of events. 

Then as they get older they look at their life and think, Who am I? How did I get here? Why is my life this way? Or even worse, they look at their spouse and ask, Who are you? I don’t even know you.  

That has fueled many car purchases and maybe even some meaningless surgeries with some type of plastic involved. 

Why does this happen? 

People lose sight of their Steeple. They lose sight of where their purpose is, what their core source of drive and ambition is and…here is the most important part, they don’t communicate it on a daily basis. 

There it is! 

We can know where our Steeple is, we can know how to get there, but if we don’t GO there consistently, so we can communicate the message clearly, we will lose sight of it and ourselves. 

Now I don’t know what YOUR message is, or how you want to express it, or even where you want to communicate it. But I do know when we make the priority of being connected to our Steeple (whatever that means to you) when we are connected to it, we will be able to life meaningful lives. We will begin to live a life that is an expression of who we are. 

The Steeple of the church was the center point of culture. It wasn’t a country club to sit around in and enjoy each others’ company. It was a place where thoughts and ideas, that Iron sharpening Iron came into play, it’s where people lived life with each other, it’s where families came and shared with one another the victories and heartaches of everyday life. It was a place where you can be rejuvenated and refreshed, empowered and equipped to go out into the world that is hurting and be a conqueror and share that with others. 

Let me leave you with this challenge today, here are three points:

  1. Find out what your top 5 things are that influence you. What matters to you the most. What determines, what guides the direction you go? Write them down.
  2. See if that lines up with your life. Dare to take an honest inventory. See if those ideals you wrote down in #1 are a reality, a true reflection of your priorities on a daily basis. 
  3. If you want help with those things becoming reality, let us know. We can help. Contact us, we would love to hear from you. 

That’s all for this week. Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

Changing Seasons

Episode 103

A few months ago, we did a series in Fall being my favorite season of the year. But there has been a shift. I’m not rescinding my claim, I still love Autumn. It’s still my favorite time of year, but my view of Summer has changed. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is Episode 102 and today we are talking about Changing Seasons.

Okay, I’m just gonna tell ya. I don’t like to sweat. Well, I don’t mind it, I just don’t like to be HOT. Like, Texas 105+ degrees, 40 days in a row, planning your day around only being outside in the morning and after dark HOT. Geesh. I know, “Why do you live in Texas?” Right? Well, I do love Texas. I mean, to steal a line from King George, Texas is a place I dearly Love to Be.  But HOT. I’m talking about soldiers who come back from Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan and say it’s hot here. Did I mention I don’t like HOT?!?!

However…on the other hand, my Wife, well, let’s just say that that girl just may be solar powered. She LOVES the Sun. The Beach is her happy place. We were married in Jamaica. When we go on vacation, you can bet, there will be a beach involved. 

And as a result of that, I am intentionally collecting a more thorough selection of water related shoes than leather ones. In other words, I want to be prepared where my wife is at peace. I want to be equipped in the atmosphere where me and my family can be fed, rejuvenated and empowered. 

You see, summer is also a time where we float in the pool. I’ve takin the time to point all the jets in the same direction so that the water will circulate in the same direction. Kind of like a lazy river, you can just hop on a float and go round and round. We may have the grill going, we always have some music on the speakers. But I can’t tell you how many hours we’ve spent processing our week, the past week and what’s coming, we’ve made decisions and plans, we’ve talked about all sorts of things while floating around in that pool. 

We started a major home renovation and all the decisions included with that, we decided on how we were facing being empty nester’s, moving Jess to one area of the country for her undergrad, and an entirely different area of the country for her to finish up her education and begin to plant her career. We’ve done a lot of dreaming. 

I guess what I’m saying is that Summer’s meaning has changed for me. I used to just see it as hot

Now, I see it as a time to dream. Yeah, it’s relaxing, floating in the pool, letting the tension of the week float on by. Relaxing and then, The Lord begins to speak. You see, what’s happened in the Summer for us is the birth of so many important things in our life. It was like He was preparing us for the fall, to be activated.

We decided to begin my Coaching Certification and then to Open up our Coaching Practice while floating around in our pool. The Lord gave us a vision about this Podcast and as you know, that we just celebrated our 100th episode. So I guess we have our very own “think tank” so to speak. 

There have been some wonderful things birthed out of something that I just saw as a time of cooling off and relaxation.  And then, He goes to work.

I can tell you that today doesn’t look like what we first imagined. Our Coaching Practice looks very different than what we were dreaming of when we were floating in that pool years ago. 

I can also tell you that it has been a lot more hard work than we expected. Long nights and filled weekends have become normal instead of the exception when you own your own business. 

One last thing I can tell you is that it is much more rewarding than we ever imagined. It’s worth every bit of the hard work and patience we’ve endured. 

The reason we started Kyle McMurray Coaching was to help people. Bottom line. To be more precise, we began this adventure to watch The Lord heal people and empower them. We are getting to see Him do just that. It’s exciting. 

So, Summer has a dear place in our hearts. I know the sun may be beating down on you, but to us, it marks the sweet beginnings of an adventure that is a lot of work, stretches our patience, but more rewarding than we could have ever imagined. 

This Summer is no different. It’s not like I’m arrogantly walking into Summer and expecting God to download something amazing. But I am walking into this season, laying down my dreaded attitude of it being so Hot and doing what it takes for me to open up. To get all the distractions out of the way so that I CAN hear Him. That’s what He wants anyway. 

We are going through an entire re-design of our branding, website and online presence. Hopefully, out of those efforts, we will be able to help more people like you.

So if you go to our website and see some things that just don’t quite work or look right, let us know. We want to see what you are seeing. I’m getting off topic. 

Listen, “While God is interested in the little things in your life, He is less concerned about them, than He is of you yielding to Him so that He can draw nearer in relationship with you”. 

Let me repeat that and let it wash over you, let it sink in, “While God is interested in the little things in your life, He is less concerned about them, than He is of you yielding to Him so that He can draw nearer in relationship with you”. In other words, He is more concerned about you, than making the stuff happen. 

I want to let you know something about dreaming, 

A dream is designed to be so attractive in your heart, that it’s main purpose is to activate you, not to be your solution” ~ KMCoaching 

The reason I bring all of this up to you today, is I want to show you four things that we’ve learned about a season of dreaming. 

  1. You will need to be equipped for more than you know
    Your job is to be willing to learn and do anything it takes to be equipped, to be ready for this new dream that you are getting. Walk into this with open arms.
  2. The reality will seldom look like the dream
    This is where most people get frustrated or even fail. Our job is to be fluid in our vision. Just because we get the vision, doesn’t mean that He won’t send people to make it bigger than what we have. So, don’t get too rigid with what He downloads to you. Usually we find that it’s better than we ever planned, it may become different when other people get involved, but it has a better chance to become greater than it was in your head.
  3. The reward will surprise you
    If you begin discovering ways to serve others, you will have greater fulfillment than being motivated by “self”. Those rewards will last much longer than your happiness. 
  4. Genuine gratefulness is key
    A few episodes ago we touched on this topic. Gratefulness is tricky because it has to be genuine. It’s not an innate skill to choose to be grateful, we have to hone that skill. But the benefits could mean your success.

I know we are out of time, we try to keep this short, but The Lord wants to get your attention, He does it in mysterious ways. If you were listening a couple of episodes ago, we talked about being Bored. I believe the Lord uses that to brush away some of our distractions. For us, He uses the pool. What I’m saying is that we need to make sure that we are making ourselves available for Him to speak to the deep places in us. The places where they are not accessed everyday. Those special places. Invite Him in. He wants to meet you there. 

But our challenge is to get those distractions out of the way and to be open. 

You see, usually we can’t do that under our own initiative. We are not made to go to those places alone. That’s where community comes in. It takes guidance. Sure, the Holy Spirit may prompt us to go there, but on our own, to those places where we can’t see ourselves, usually not. That’s why we are here. We can help. If you would like to discuss it, I would be more than happy to. 

This may be a Changing Season for you. You may get asked to do something that you think is out of your league. Today, we discussed 4 things that you can start with, to meet Him there. 

Remember, we give away what we have, let’s make sure we receive life, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle. 

Hoping for Hope

Do you know the importance of hope? Let me ask this in a different way. Have you ever been in a situation where you just see no other answer and you’ve given up? Then you’ve found that Hope is important. Hope is like refined jet fuel for the soul. It drives us. It gives us life. It provides endurance, when in dire circumstances will be the only reason victory is possible. I have something very special to share with you today about Hope. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is Episode 102 and today we are talking about Hoping for Hope.

In the 1950’s Dr. Curt Richter, a professor at Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore conducted a study, it was quite brutal, in fact I’ll spare some of the details but hopefully still communicate the accurate outcome of his findings and conclusion. 

He had two groups of mice. All who were once from the wild but he took one group and domesticated them. I’m not sure how you would do that, but that is what his research paper said. I’ll have a link in the show notes for you. 

Now, Richter took, let’s call them “the wild” group of mice and he put one in a glass of water that was filled to the point where the mouse had to swim. After a certain amount of time the mouse’s demise was documented for a baseline of about 40 minutes. 

His next step was to take another mouse from the same group, put it in the glass of water and just before “the time would expire”, he tried to grab the mouse out of the glass, to save him. Now, because the mouse was one from “the wild” group of mice, that mouse fought, clawed and bit him. Eventually, also expiring. The mouse was acting alone and the fight for survival took over. Sure, he lasted a little longer but only by a few more minutes. 

Then came the other group of mice which were domesticated. They had grown used to human interaction by being fed, groomed and educated through various mouse educational things that you do with mice, I guess. 

The first mouse was put into the glass, filled with the same amount of water, and the same outcome, it too, lasted about 40 minutes. 

The next mouse was put into the same glass of water. As Dr. Richter approached 40 minutes for the mouse to swim, he grabbed the mouse out of the water just before he drowned. He let him out for about 5 minutes. And then, he puts the mouse right back into the water to swim. 

I know your heart is feeling for that mouse, but let that little guy really teach you something today. 

How long do you think he lasted, swimming in that glass of water after he was rescued?

Another 10 minutes? 15? How about 30 minutes, or even a whole hour!? Well, I wish I could tell you that. But he didn’t. 

You see, that mouse was equipped with hope and a connection to the one who could save him. Now, the one who could save the mouse was a human. I want to be clear, God will never leave us like Dr. Richter did. Even King David said that in all of his years, he never saw the righteous forsaken, nor his children begging for bread. Psa 37:25 

Hope is a powerful thing. It keeps us going when we think we can’t last any longer. Hope drives us past that point of what we think we can do. Hope is also what makes the victory so much sweeter. 

Everyone loves a good story line of the hero getting themselves into a situation where all hope is seemed to be lost, until that pivotal moment where there is one act of hope cues the orchestra to triumphantly blast and announce the victory. 

You see, I don’t know where you are today. I’m not sure of what type of situation you are in. I’m not even sure if you have any hope left or not. But what I can tell you is that Hope is our life line. When a person has lost their hope, there is nothing else that matters. Giving up is the best option, and for some, that may mean to just stop swimming and trying to simply survive. Sinking down into the glass may seem like the only option some people have today. Check on those you love today. See where they are in their hope. Hope is powerful. We can get into where is your hope another time. But if you have no hope, I want to share something about the power of hope with you today. 

Do you want to know how long that mouse lasted when he was equipped with HOPE?

I’m not making this up, you can look for yourselves. 

Once he was rescued and given Hope, that mouse swam for another 60…HOURS. Yes! Hours. Not minutes. He didn’t swim for another measly 60 minutes, but he kept being driven with the hope for another 60 hours. That is almost three days. Without the consideration of food or anything else, he was driven by his hope. 

Hope is a powerful thing and once you’ve lost it, been shown true hope, it now reveals itself to have more power than you ever dreamed. 

You see, when empowered with Hope, you are greater than you can ever imagine. You can achieve greater things than you believe you can. 

Don’t give up. No matter what you do, don’t ever give up. There is Hope. 

If you need help with this today, please reach out to us. We can help. 

I know we are out of time for this episode, but remember we give away what we have, let’s make sure we receive life. Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.

Breaking Boredom

Remember when you were younger and you used to get SO bored? Oh wait, we just spent nearly a year on lockdown, of course you remember…Well, you were still younger, technically. I’ve heard it said that “The two enemies of happiness are pain and boredom.”  Now, we talk about pain quite a lot with our clients, but boredom? No one ever talks about that. Well, we’re talking about it today. You’re listening to Living the Freedom Life, this is Episode 101 and today we are Breaking Boredom.

When you’re bored, how many of you know that you’ll do things that you probably won’t do any other time. 

Go and check the fridge…for no reason or something we call “Bored Eating” when you’re not really hungry. We all know what that causes.

I’ve caught myself going out to the garage, look around the cabinets for no reason. 

Scroll through the TV apps to find something new to watch. 

Check the youtube feed. 

Here is another one, how many of you “log off” because you’re bored, only to log back on in 5 minutes because you’re bored?

When we are bored, we consume and we overdo things. We escape. That’s how most of us deal with Boredom. We overeat, over think things (when we overthink, that’s where bad ideas disguise themselves as good ones

What if I were to tell you that Boredom can actually serve you as a useful tool? Boredom can be useful. 

I have a challenge for you. I would like for you to assess yourself and think about what you do when you are bored. The reason I want you to do that is for you to see what your mind is actually going through. I want you to know that when we are Bored, we have a choice.

People tell me “I don’t like to pray or, I don’t like to meditate because I get distracted, I get bored.” That’s actually pretty funny, because that’s the point. Now before you get all religiously offended, let me explain this. It is imperative for us to learn to push through boredom to get to the real stuff. If you want to go through life to be entertained, that’s actually a very shallow life.

When we face Boredom, either we can access or escape. When it’s broken down into just two simple choices, now we can choose to take dominion over our life and be intentional. Because most people have heard the old saying “Boredom is the Devil’s playground.” If the Devil, our enemy, the one who DOESN’T want you to become the person God created you to be, when he can get you to not live intentionally, he’s got you. He doesn’t want you to Live the Freedom Life. He doesn’t want you to listen to this podcast. I’m not saying that the Devil is behind everything. What I am saying is that we have a choice and the devil tries to influence the power of choice that we have, and a lot of times he uses boredom to lure us into searching to be entertained. You may be thinking “I need to unplug sometime.” or “I need to recharge.” Trust me, that is God’s desire for you too. You see, there is no such thing as unplugging. When we are what we call unplugged, what happens? Now, God has all the “other stuff” out of the way and then, He can truly speak to you. That is when He chooses to download the life giving things to us that we are really searching for in the first place.  

Being Bored gives us an opportunity to get all the other stuff out of the way. 

We can either access what is in our own mind, or we can escape out of our own mind. Depending on what’s there or what we are thinking about. I’m kind of referring back to “Think about what you think about.” I’m sure you’ve heard me say that before.

What we are really talking about is how is the relationship with yourself. For years, I didn’t have a good relationship with myself. When I read “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” Matthew 22:35-40, I felt that I was off the hook because I didn’t like myself at all. I wouldn’t hang out with me. In fact, I went to great lengths to avoid myself. 

Because when we are bored and we try to escape, it’s really a question of “What am I escaping from?” That’s the real question. It’s like if you don’t like hanging out with you, then as with anyone else you don’t want to hang out with, you’re out of there. You find a way to escape. Some people even have a fake phone call app on their phone to get them out of situations where they don’t want to hang out with someone. 

But I think the real question is “How is my relationship with me?” Because when you get bored and your option is to escape, it never gets better and things will continue to spiral.

Well, if we use that time to access ourselves, to “Think about what you are thinking about”, then you get to know what you don’t like. You get to discover and put the tools God gave you to work. With a sound mind ,access to Him and how He sees you…, together, you can change it. The more present you are with the life you don’t like, the more authority you will have over it. THEN we can start taking dominion! 

The more you escape, the less power you have over it and you will find yourself like one of those fishing bobbers, floating out in the middle of the water with nothing anchoring you for purpose. The Bible says in Hebrews 6:19 that “He is an anchor to our soul”.

Now, when you get bored and let’s say you remember this episode and you choose to “Think about what you are thinking about” this takes energy, it takes effort, and it will also take your skill doing it. You may be saying to yourself, “I don’t know HOW to do that”. Well, we can help.

When you are bored, your mind and it’s contents will reveal itself to you. It’s like God created Boredom for just this purpose. 

Look at the people in your life and see what they do when they are bored. Does it serve them? Do they allow themselves to be bored? Or, are they just outrunning it? Which is the same as escaping. Filling their life with so many things that they never experience themselves.  

When we are Bored, we can either let it eat away our most precious commodity, which is time. Or, we can make the most productive use of Boredom and use it as a fuel gage on the Dashboard of our soul and let it be an indicator that we now have some time to do the things we claim we never have time to do. Which is self-care. 

Someone who is “too busy” in this day and age, I heard someone say, this is kind of abrasive, but I heard them say that “Being too busy is the new stupid”. 

People who claim to be Too Busy really means: 

  • they struggle with setting boundaries 
  • they don’t have time to let the dust settle long enough for the water to get clear so they can see deeper
  • they aren’t good at managing themselves 
    • in other words they aren’t the best at time management 
    • or it may go as far as they aren’t as efficient as they can be
    • I guess that’s a nice way of saying they aren’t good at self-discipline
  • when someone who is too busy, when they get bored, they see it as a time to finally relax
    • which reinforces the choice of escaping when they are bored
    • because since they are too busy, they’re not disciplined in their rest 

It’s a cycle that really cripples a lot of people in today’s society.

To say it in a nicer way, “Too busy is the new uninformed”. We can help.

So the answer is not busyness but awareness. 

Boredom is like that moat we have to cross to get to awareness. Sure, it’s not easy to push through, but as you do it more and more, you will find out where the drawbridge is and how to lower it so you can cross easily.

In Breaking Boredom, we have Clients that have turned their Boredom around, and really made it into this internal traffic signal or like a moat, where either they can stay out, or they can cross safely and go into some really great areas of wisdom. 

Boredom tells them it’s time to get to work. And lo and behold, their Boredom is evaporated! The reward is the true meaning of peace. 

They aren’t bored anymore. But they are excited, rejuvenated, they have clearer vision in their life, they are stronger, they are wiser, and they are learning to like themselves and in turn, they are liking others more too. 

Kinda sounds like they are Living the Freedom Life now doesn’t it?

We can help with that.

Until All Have Heard, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle

Grateful

When we started this podcast, we had one thing in mind, helping people. 

Living the Freedom Life Podcast is an introductory product of our Certified Coaching Practice found at KyleMcMurray.com. I am not considered a psychotherapist, but we do offer help through certified online Coaching sessions. We talk about where you are right now and where you want to be. We help you get there. 

Our price-point is at or below most insurance co-pays. We’re affordable. Bottom line, we want to help people. This is not about money or being salesy about Coaching. We don’t train other Coaches or sell a Coaching program like most others do. We don’t herd people through some cookie cutter program. You are an individual, and our approach is the same in your journey. We put together a unique approach for every client. 

We have some amazing clients, we have a great team and we have an easy onboarding process that gets all the office stuff taken care of. 

We just want to help people who have an interest in being better than yesterday. And because you are here, that means you’re one too.  

Welcome to Living the Freedom Life Podcast, this is episode 100. Today, I’m just Grateful.

Sometimes, when I take the time to think about, to really slow down enough to think about all the things in my life where I should be dead, I should be alone, and I should be in some kind of room, away from society, I get overwhelmed with Gratitude. You see, God has been extremely patient with me. He’s been kind, and despite my imaginations about Him, He’s been gentle. 

Oh yeah, there are plenty of examples I have, not just circumstantial, but I have plenty of life experiences where I could point an angry finger at God and ask “Why did You do this?”. There are plenty of places where I could be angry with God. But, I find that I’m just Grateful towards Him. 

I’m sure you could say the same. There were probably many times in your life where things just turned out crummy, horrible, or you were devastated. Sometimes life is HARD. Whether or not they were really caused by your choices or not, we have a tendency to look at God with the stink eye, not even take the time to ask questions, and accuse The Almighty that Loves us more than we can comprehend.

That is when He shows us that He is patient. There is where He sits and waits for us. Not constantly looking up the road, waiting to see us coming back on the horizon like the Prodigal. I’ve experienced it more that He is simply being patient and waiting. He already knows how this will go. He doesn’t need to show us His power in that moment, He just sits and waits for us and then He calmly and steadily and firmly picks us up where we left off.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had this scenario play out many times in my life. God has been so kind, and I’m more specifically talking about The Father here. 

He has been so patient with me and this constant has attracted me back, to want to sit deeper into His lap, to run faster and harder, only to turn my head and see Him running with me, just a few steps ahead of me, encouraging me, laughing WITH me and still challenging me in a fun way to go farther.

I’ve now had to record this several times because I get overwhelmed at how grateful I am. I’m grateful for you, our listeners. I’m not sure where you are or really how you found us, but WOW! Y’all are amazing. I am grateful that you take 10 minutes out of your week and listen to this podcast. 

I am grateful that you include us in your journey to become the person God had in His mind when He created you. 

You see, being grateful in life is a very special thing. It’s much more than saying “thank you”. It’s much broader than replying from a kind gesture or a gift. Gratitude is a tool for not just happiness, but the ability to retain Joy. It’s not innate. In other words, we don’t automatically know that we need to be grateful. It’s not human nature, but it is in us, it’s available to us. But we have to choose it. 

I’m not talking about being fake by choosing gratitude. 

Gratitude is not emotional based. Genuine gratitude churns UP emotion. In reverse, emotions may assist in constructing Gratitude. We can go to the old causality question “which comes first?”, the chicken or the egg, Emotions or Gratitude, but I will say that if you are faking happiness when you are attempting to be grateful, let’s make sure that your happiness is genuine or your gratitude doesn’t stand a chance. We have to learn the art of choosing gratitude.  

There are benefits in choosing to be grateful. Practicing gratitude will transform the way you think and feel. People who are skilled at choosing to be grateful have better success in relationships, are more optimistic, able to be more helpful, energetic, and to be more hopeful in difficult situations. The more a person is able to choose gratitude, the less likely they are to experience depression, anxiety, loneliness, and jealousy, AND the more likely they are to experience a greater self worth, have more confidence and be able to express themselves in a healthy way.

Most of us have a tendency to focus on the negative and my topic today may seem like an impossible thing to choose gratitude, but I need you to try. We need you to try. The world needs you to try. You see, you are valuable. I know you’ve heard me say that everyone needs a coach and that we are made for community. Well, that includes you. Our community needs you. We need your skills, your talents and your personality. 

What I mean by that is we will be missing out on something pretty important if you don’t. The world is missing out. God orchestrates the world and it’s people as a symphony. If one instrument plays a sour note, well, think about how the piece of music will sound if more people play sour notes. Like I said, we need more people like you. 

We need more people Living the Freedom Life. I hope that something you’ve heard today encourages you. I hope that you’ve heard something today that empowers you to be grateful for some things in your life. 

If you are, let me challenge you to express it. Let someone know how they have impacted your life today. Let them know how grateful you are toward their kindness and patience. Yeah, I guarantee that you will make their day. But I also guarantee that you will have a better day too. You will reap benefits from it as well. 

Being grateful is proactive to Living the Freedom Life. Gratefulness is not always reactive because something good has happened. It’s also proactive in travelling towards a greater life. 

We are out of time today, but thank you for the past 100 episodes. This is so much fun interacting with you. We will see you next week. Until next time, Living the Freedom Life, this is Kyle.