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Can I Trust You To Hear Me?
Where do you go to be heard? When you have something on your mind that’s so private, so personal, and so vulnerable, where do you go to be really heard? When simply sharing just won’t do. Now, the church answer would be to Proverbs 3:5-6 trust the Lord and don’t lean on your own understanding and He will direct your path. And that would be right. But sometimes it’s difficult and not the reality we see.
The reality that is mostly seen is that we’re in a plugged-in world. When we need to be heard, accessibility is not the issue. We’re connected to computers, our phones, gaming consoles, TVs, and we can speak to all of them, but are we really ever heard? I’m talking about the things that really matter.
Do you stuff it down inside because you feel like you have nowhere to turn? I’ve gone to social media before, and it didn’t turn out well. Sometimes our emotions get involved and we lose sight on what’s appropriate to share publicly, when we want to be heard.
Well, now that begs the question, do you have anyone in your life that you can trust?
In order to trust someone, you have to get to know them. In order to do that, you must be vulnerable with them. They get to know you, and now, depending on how they handle the information about you, they will earn their trustworthiness.
How many of you have ever thought “Man, if you knew the real me, you wouldn’t like me.”
Remember, trust is not given, it’s earned.
Being vulnerable is not easy but it has great rewards. It’s the foundation of many a wonderful friendship. On the other hand, being vulnerable with someone that you know is emotionally abusive or emotionally unavailable, can steer you into the oncoming traffic called self-abuse. That’s dangerous.
I have someone that’s very important in my life and it has taken me several years to figure out that they are not emotionally available. Some situations may not be obvious as to their trustworthiness. But you have to make your–self available in order to find out.
You may be asking “How do I know?” Well, let’s break it down into simple steps as much as we can.
It’s kind of like dating. The first time you go out on a date with someone, you’re not supposed to just mug down on them. Open the door, say please and thank you, be considerate, honor her.
Remember what we said earlier? Trust is not given, it’s earned? Well, honor is given. And if you expect to go on a second date, you need to learn how to honor people. Maybe we’ll cover that in another episode.
On those first few dates, you share personal things about you with that other person. As the relationship builds, so does the trust level. Because they have handled that personal information about you with care.
A very important question I’ve asked a lot of couples is, how do you fight? The question is not whether you fight or not. Because it will happen. The question is how.
Even in a disagreement, does the other person use your vulnerability as a weapon against you later?
In other words, will that person handle your vulnerability delicately? That is a very important relational question and strikes at the very core of many relational issues.
Can I trust you to hear me? It’s a very important question. And it can be only answered over time. All of us need to be heard.
God knows this about us and He wants an opportunity to build your trust with Him.
Share some concerns, fears, worries that you have with Him. Be vulnerable with Him. See how He handles that information.
Let me give you some pointers on this.
If His answers ever include “what you need to do” that’s not Him. If He ever says “In order to get this, you need to …”
#1. That is under the Old Covenant
#2. If you have confessed with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord then you shall be saved. That is the end of it. It is Finished.
#3. When you start hearing Who you are as He created you, that is the beginning of your freedom.
When you begin to hear those things, they start to build your trust in Him.
Without focusing on it (Episode: We Steer Where We Stare), you will begin to experience wanting to spend time with Him.
Through that, you’ll start Living the Freedom Life.